Are daddy issues and boyfriend issues related? Sure seems that way. Here KC and I talk about some criticisms I've had against him recently and then how it has related to my recent relationship to my dad. This is part 1. Part 2 is coming next week :)
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Sure, mommy or daddy issues can absolutely get in the way of having a healthy relationship, but nobody should be ridiculed for something that’s out of their control, since these issues are based off of things that happened during somebody’s childhood.

But what are mommy or daddy issues really?

The Psychological Explanation of Mommy or Daddy Issues

As you may know, these issues are a result of the relationships you had with your mother or father when you were growing up, and maybe even how the relationship remains today. So let’s just get this out of the way — Daddy issues are about more than wanting to call someone “daddy” during sex (and spoiler alert, it’s a misconception that the phenomenon is always related to daddy issues).

“‘Mommy issues’ is a term originating from the psychoanalytic Oedipal complex, coined by Sigmund Freud. Carl Yung followed up with the Electra complex, modernly spoken of as ‘Daddy Issues,’” explains Talkspace Provider Amy Cirbus Ph.D, LMHC, LPC. “These terms were developed and understood through a psychoanalytic lens, where it was believed that young boys were thought to be in sexual competition with their fathers and young girls to be in competition with their mothers.”

However, today, we know it’s about much more than this. Basically, mommy or daddy issues (which, by the way, are terms that are thrown around way too loosely) are the psychological effects lasting into adulthood that are caused by childhood relationships with a mother or father. Some possible causes of mommy or daddy issues in an adult could be:

• A parent who left the family or was mostly absent
• A parent who was emotionally or physically abusive
• A parent who wasn’t loving or nurturing
• A parent who is extremely overbearing
• A parent who treated the other parent badly

How Mommy Issues or Daddy Issues Usually Manifest

When we think about mommy and daddy issues, it’s often the case that a man in a heterosexual relationship is experiencing the mommy issues and taking it out on the female partner, or that a woman in a heterosexual relationship is taking the daddy issues out on the male partner. Of course, though, there are always exceptions and obviously situations can play out differently in same-sex relationships.

Mommy issues

When it comes to mommy issues, Cirbus explains, “Generally, this is a man who seems to be seeking a substitute mom as opposed to an equal partner, or behaving as if in reaction to unresolved issues with his mother, rather than the partner.” This can lead to relationships having an unequal balance of power between a couple — whether the man goes to the extreme of being very controlling or in the other direction and becomes very submissive.

Mommy issues can also cause a man to have different expectations of a partner or spouse. If a man’s mother did absolutely everything for him and babied him up until…well…last year, it’s likely that he will expect a female partner to provide the same, waiting on him hand and foot like his mom has done.

Daddy issues

Daddy issues can manifest as trust issues or fear of abandonment for some women. “Women who have an absent father, inconsistent presence, or malfunctioning relationship are at risk for seeking to resolve this through an partnership with a man,” says Cirbus. This can cause women to constantly seek validation or approval from men, or seek out people who are emotionally unavailable. They might also have a fear of abandonment if their father left their family when they were young, afraid that a partner will leave in the same way that their dad did.