People love to laugh. The proverb “a merry heart is good like a medicine” has been understood for thousands of years. Laughter makes people feel better. Yet, human nature too often has a way of twisting what is good and using it in destructive ways. This is also true of humor.

The job of parents is to make their family both a place of merriment and a safe place. Parents need to be ready to laugh at things like goofy games, funny faces, unexpected miscommunications, plays on words, creative perspectives on the normal, mishaps, ridiculous mistakes, and the antics of puppies.

The best laughter is that which springs from good-natured enjoyment. That is the only sort of laughter that will bring real joy and relieve stress. Cruel laughter or laughter at the obvious expense of someone else’s feelings may seem fun at the moment, but it is like drinking dirty water.

That doesn’t mean children need to be treated with kid gloves all the time, with parents always being concerned about hurting their feelings. Children need to learn to laugh at themselves, just not feel the butt of others jokes in belittling ways.

At the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I observed how a variety of other married people treated each other. We noticed that some couples engaged in “put-down” humor. They put on an appearance of everyone thinking it was clever and funny, but the strain on the relationship soon became obvious. One or the other never knew when they were going to be exposed or made fun of. There was never the pure fun of shared laughter. We made a pact with each other to not have that be part of our family dynamics.

The best laughter is shared laughter. A person may laugh some by themselves, but there is something about how laughter spreads in a group that makes it magical. Have you ever started laughing just because someone else is? Seeing others be truly belly-laugh-happy often just makes us happy!

We laugh best with people we know best. There is something about shared experience and understanding that helps humor connect almost like undiscovered radio waves. This means that there is a high potential for enjoying laughter in the home.

This aspect of relationship with laughter has other benefits. It can help us gauge when the laughter needs to be tempered, possibly for a child’s particular vulnerability at the moment. Also, healthy laughter tends to strengthen bonds and communication. It helps people relax and try to understand each other.

Humor can be used to teach important life lessons to children, both by making concepts clear and by making the l