In this deeply moving episode, Leanne and Orla are joined in the studio by Anita — a 57-year-old mother of five, grandmother of six, and domestic violence support worker who reached out to share her extraordinary story. Growing up as the eldest of five in a home marked by domestic abuse, neglect, and emotional trauma, Anita became a little mother at nine years old and carried the weight of her family long before she had a family of her own. From teenage pregnancies and a difficult marriage to raising five children alone without electricity, to eventually building a career, getting her honours degree, and dedicating her life to supporting women fleeing abuse — Anita's story is one of raw honesty, hard-won resilience, and the profound power of even one good person showing up for you. This one will stay with you.

Timecodes:
00:00 — Welcome & introducing guest Anita
00:49 — What this episode is about: how our experiences shape the relationships we carry forward
01:04 — Anita introduces herself: 57, five kids, six grandkids, works in domestic violence services
01:45 — Single parenthood, defying expectations & raising five professionals
02:19 — Running a preschool for 20 years, going to college, and earning her honours degree
03:07 — Losing her business during Covid & reinventing herself in domestic violence work
03:12 — What Anita's day-to-day work looks like: crisis support, refuge, housing & education
04:45 — Going back to the beginning: growing up in a traumatic home environment
05:03 — "If I'm ever a mammy, I'll never do this to my little girl" — Anita's earliest memory
05:13 — Domestic abuse and child abuse in the home — physical and emotional
05:50 — Anita as the eldest child: neglect began at nine when her mother returned to work full time
06:28 — Left at home with her father — a heavy drinker with his own history of trauma
07:40 — Money, food, and cigarette butts in the stew — the reality of growing up in that house
09:17 — Did her parents love her? Understanding her father's violence through his own childhood
09:49 — Her mother: idolised as a child, emotionally unavailable as a parent
10:44 — The middle child favourite & what Anita came to understand about her mother
12:23 — Nine years old, cooking dinners and running the washing machine
22:33 — Leaving home at 17 — and what life had been like until then
23:06 — Different outcomes for different siblings & the ACEs framework explained
24:15 — Repeating the cycle: ending up in a difficult marriage, just like home
25:10 — Bringing her mum to her college graduation — and the response she got
25:52 — Proudest moment: four of them sitting around the table doing their studies together
26:58 — Teenage pregnancy: finding out at five months, being given three days to leave home
32:19 — The neighbour who took her in and loaned her the deposit — "you only need one good person"
34:18 — The night her first baby was born — ringing her mother from the hospital
40:49 — Christmas Day and the cycle of violence at home — "we dreaded Christmas"
42:18 — Married, alone, no electricity for nine months — cooking on the fire for her kids
43:49 — He came back, they married — and she knew walking down the aisle it was wrong
44:46 — Moving the family to escape heroin hitting their area
45:14 — Discovering her husband was taking drugs; going missing for days
46:11 — Having baby number five and being sterilised — a friend's husband signed the papers
46:53 — The women who shaped her life at different stages
47:45 — Moving back to Dublin, starting over — first day at work and the fire incident that became the final catalyst
48:59 — Her mother's emotional unavailability — physically present, emotionally gone
50:17 — Getting a job on a CE scheme, moving up quickly to manager, starting to bloom
52:25 — "I can see you're getting strong" — her eldest daughter at 18
53:48 — Her mother's relationship with the grandkids — hilarious but harmful
55:19 — Song of her life: Be a Clown — singing in the beds with her brothers and sisters to drown it all out
56:30 — Wrapping up: what Anita gives back every day to the women she supports
57:14 — "You are an absolute queen. You are an absolute survivor."