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Update – Part of the point of this podcast to is to share with others my journey.  Today is mostly going to be about that, which happens to be step 4.

Go to a lot of meetings.Network to find other meetings and new friends.Find a home meeting.Got a sponsor.Staying connected.Calling people from the meeting/treatment.Meeting Each Friday (The meeting before and after the meeting (fellowship))Going out to dinner.Treated like rock stars for some reason.Know our names what we drink.We are good tippers, but our bills are half of what they used to be, so that can’t be it.We feel there is a stigma of telling people I’m an alcoholic, but as much as I know there is one I’m also here to say in a lot of cases there isn’t one.Changing my status on LinkedIn.I sat there for a long time before I hit enter.

Taking someone up on offer to go to a new meeting.Sunday night meetingGoing to a meeting vs. getting out of a meeting.“I” statements (I’m working on my Twitter posts) Harder than I had thought.Had to start this podcase over about 5 times.My sponsor says it is important or I wouldn’t let it bother me.Reading the big book.Read it in Haz, but different perspective with sponsor.Starting Step 4 – Not for everyone, and this is my first time doing one.I feel great, but as we all knowCunningBafflingPowerfulPatient

Step 4 - “Made a searching and FEARLESS moral inventory of ourselves.”

If you go to treatment you will probably leave on step 3.For those who get hung up it almost always is going to be on step 3.“Made a decision to turn out will and our lives over to the care of God AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM.”We have instincts for a reasonFind a partnerReproduceProvide foodSecure shelterAll are necessary, but often far exceed their proper function.Powerfully, blindly, and subtly they drive us, dominate us, and insist upon ruling our lives.When out of joint, cause us great trouble.No human, however good, is exempt. (We are part of an exclusive club)Cause is misdirected instinct.Step 4 is a vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what these liabilities in each of us have been/are.How, when, where our natural desires have misguided us the unhappiness this caused others and ourselves.How do I go about this step?Start with one and do a deep dive to discuss with my sponsor.The 12x12 gives examples of the questions I may need to answer. sex, power, wealth.Anytime a person imposes his instincts unreasonably upon others, unhappiness follows.Wealth/security (material & emotional)SexPrestige/powerCan produce anything from a cold shoulder to a blazing revolutionWe will see those instincts running wild are the underlying cause of destructive drinkingWe have drank to:Drown feelings of fear, frustration, and depressionEscape the guilt of passionFor vainglory that we may enjoy foolish dreams of pomp and power. (1953)If we try conquering this step on our own it can lead down a nasty worm hole.Depression can lead to guilt and self-loathingGrandiosity leads us to solely blaming the drinking for any defectI quit drinking, so obviously everything else will take care of itself.If I was a pretty nice person before the drinking why do I need a moral inventory now that I am sober?We believe our behavior was cased by other people. People who really need a moral inventory.  This is on them.This is why this step is done with our sponsor.They have done this step before, and they can guide us.As soon as the newcomer begins to be more objective, the newcomer will fearlessly, rather than fearfully, look at his own defects.Majority of AA members have suffered severely form self-justification during drinking days.Self-justification is the maker of excuses and all kinds of damaging conduct.We had to drink because:Times were hard or times were good.At home we were smothered with love, or got none at all.We were a great success or dismal failures.We had won a ward or lost a peace.