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A lot of what I am going to cover comes from It’s OK that you’re not OK by Megan Devine. 

This is not going to be a deep dive, so I encourage you all to buy and read the book (Website).I also want to point out that this is a book about the loss of a loved one. I fully understand that admitting I am an alcoholic is not the same as my wife drowning in front of me, but this is a book about loss, and I have experienced loss.This shitty disease took from me the person I used to be.  The same way finding out you have cancer changed your life from that point on.I happen to like the person I have become, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard and I also understand that others may be having a much harder time dealing with it.This book can be used for all kinds of loss, and it does it a disservice if it is type casted as a book for only those who have lost someone.Not all losses are created equal.  The loss of a child is different than the loss of a grandparent the same way the loss of who you used to be is different.I also want to state, that this episode is not just for you. A good part of this episode is for your friends and family.  I’ve never done this before, but if you feel it would help I would ask that you ask your friends and family to listen to this episode.  Hell, I actually feel most of my episodes would be good for anyone to listen to, but I am hoping these helps alleviate some stress for you too.

I’m going to break this episode down into 4 parts that loosely follow the book.

You’ve admitted you an alcoholic, now what (coming to terms)Sometimes shit just sucks!A message for Friends and familyThe way forward with your tribe.

First a little bit about Megan Devine.

She was a counselor for over a decadeIn 2009 she watched her partner drown just before his 30th birthday.After she wanted to call all of her clients and apologize for her ignoranceNothing could have prepared her, and nothing she had learned mattered.

You’ve admitted you’re an alcoholic, now what?

Reality of loss sets inEverything is different nowNothing makes senseYour life was normal, but now it is anything butNothing feels realYour mind cannot stop replaying events to try make senseBecause you feel crazy doesn’t make you crazyThere is only so much you can absorb at a timeWe need to know how to live hereLittle land minesYou don’t just loose the present, you lose the future you should have hadTrips to the grocery storeNo wonder grief is so exhaustingIt’s not the actual pain of loss it’s the sheer number of tiny things to be avoided or planned for.The need to just not talkSmart people have started to try take away your painWhat the outside world believes and what you know to be true can be the hardest partWondering if others are nuts or if you are too sensitive adds another layer of stressThere really is something not comforting in the ways people are trying to comfort youPeople are saying the sweetest things, why does this make you angryEveryone has their opinionIn early recovery you feel crazy, but it’s the culture that is crazy.  It’s not you it’s usOur views on grief are almost all negative.  Something to be taken away.There is no room for your pain to just existMaybe you feel aloneWhat does matter is that you are not alone feeling the world had failed you

Suicide

Surviving early grief is a massive effortWhat to do when the pain is too much?Not wanting to be alive is different than wanting to be deadIt’s hard to tell none grieving people that.You simply don’t careNeed to find a way to get through these momentsMake a pact with another alcoholicRemind yourself of the consequences – Play the tape forwardAnything to get through these times.Please stay alive! Do it for others if you must.Please reach out for help. Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-TALK (8255)Acknowledgement is the only form of medicine that works