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"If you build the table, they will come." This simple twist on a famous movie quote captures the heart of what we've learned through decades of family gatherings. Our tables have never been new or fancy, but they've witnessed four generations of laughter, tears, confessions, and celebrations.

The revelation came during an ordinary family dinner when we looked around at our children, their partners, our in-laws, and grandchildren all gathered together. We realized that throughout our 35 years of marriage, the dining table had become more than furniture—it had transformed into the heart of our family's connection.

Even when financial constraints during our years in ministry made eating out impossible, our table became the place where bonds strengthened. Today, our adult children text to ask what we're cooking, and their friends inquire about invitations to lunch. The table has become our family's gravitational center, with gatherings routinely lasting three hours or more as stories unfold and relationships deepen.

What makes a table special isn't the wood it's made from but the welcome it extends. Our boisterous gatherings of ten or more people have taught our son-in-laws patience and our grandchildren belonging. We've discovered that when people feel truly accepted, they return again and again, bringing new faces to expand our circle of connection.

Ready to build your own table tradition? Remember it's never too late to start, and you don't need culinary expertise or expensive furniture. Simply create space where people feel loved enough to share their lives. When you build relationships around your table, you're creating a legacy that will nourish generations to come. The memories made there will become your family's most cherished inheritance.

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What does it really mean to marry someone with a "messy childhood"? After 34 years of marriage, we're pulling back the curtain on this deeply personal topic that touches so many relationships.

The conversation began with a social media post describing the qualities of women who emerge from difficult childhoods to become extraordinary wives and mothers—if they've healed. That last part is crucial. We explore what true healing looks like, why it matters so much in marriage, and the reality that this process often takes years, not months. In our case, significant healing took at least twelve years, with certain issues continuing to surface even later.

We tackle the uncomfortable truths about these relationships from both sides. For those who experienced trauma, there's the temptation to seek a rescuer rather than doing internal work. For their partners, there's the risk of developing a "hero complex" or underestimating the commitment required. We've seen marriages crumble when one partner realizes they aren't prepared for the healing journey ahead.

Trust becomes the bedrock of these relationships. Learning to believe your partner won't abandon you when difficult things surface creates space for unprecedented intimacy—not just physical, but emotional and spiritual. This trust allows for conversations most couples never have, deepening your connection in profound ways.

Whether you're in a relationship affected by past trauma or considering one, this episode offers honest insights about what it means to commit to the process. Because when those neatly packaged traumas resurface at the most inopportune moments—and they will—your commitment to walking together through the healing process makes all the difference.

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Time together doesn't always equal time well spent. Through nearly 35 years of marriage, we've learned that while quantity time happens naturally in a relationship, quality time requires intention, presence, and deliberate effort.

Quality time ranks as one of the five love languages for many people, but we believe it transcends preferences to become a fundamental pillar of any healthy relationship. When two people share a life together—whether they're working side by side, eating meals together, or simply occupying the same space—it's dangerously easy to confuse proximity with connection.

The distractions of our digital age have only deepened this challenge. Phones, watches, and constant notifications create an "attention economy" that steals focus from the persons physically present with us. True quality time means turning devices face down, making eye contact, asking meaningful questions, and genuinely listening to understand not just what your partner is saying, but who they're becoming.

The beauty of cultivating quality time is the foundation it creates for navigating difficult seasons together. After thousands of genuine conversations, even the most challenging discussions become possible because you've established trust through consistent, intentional connection. This principle extends beyond marriage to every important relationship in your life—children, friends, and family all benefit from the gift of your undivided attention.

We encourage you to examine your relationships this week. Are you simply occupying space together, or are you truly connecting? The difference might seem subtle, but the impact is profound. Turn your phone upside down. Look them in the eyes. Ask meaningful questions. Your relationships will thank you.

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Support the show

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2312581/support

Send us a text

Support the show

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2312581/support

Send us a text

Ever wondered who should really be part of your inner circle? In this thought-provoking episode, Brad and Tiffany break down the concept of "the people on your bus" – a powerful metaphor borrowed from Jim Collins' "Good to Great" that helps us understand who belongs in our lives and where.

Your life journey resembles a vehicle with distinct seating sections, each representing different relationship levels. The coveted "shotgun" position belongs to your most crucial relationship – ideally your spouse – who helps navigate your course and keeps you alert to life's possibilities. Your second row holds family and close friends who provide support and perspective, while the back seats contain more peripheral relationships that still contribute value but require greater intentionality to maintain.

Brad and Tiffany share personal stories about relationship challenges they've faced, including friends who weren't actually supportive of their marriage. With refreshing honesty, they discuss how to recognize when someone isn't a "safe person" for your life journey – even when that person might be family. They offer practical wisdom on evaluating new relationships, letting go of connections that have run their course, and handling disagreements with your spouse about who belongs in your inner circle.

"Close the door lightly" when relationships end, they advise, because you never know when circumstances might bring you back together. Remember that many valuable relationships are seasonal – meant to serve a specific purpose during a particular life chapter rather than lasting forever.

Whether you're struggling with toxic relationships, wondering how to prioritize connections, or simply looking to create a healthier community around you, this episode provides the roadmap you need. Subscribe to the Hustle Flow podcast for more conversations that blend practical wisdom with spiritual insight for navigating life's complex journeys.

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What happens when compliments make you uncomfortable? When recognition feels undeserved? When success feels like luck rather than skill? Brad and Tiffany open up about the surprising origins of this episode – a moment when Tiffany's inability to acknowledge Brad's public compliments revealed a deeper struggle with feeling worthy of recognition.

Through vulnerable conversation, they explore the concept of imposter syndrome, defined by their friend and licensed therapist Jessica Roberts as "a distorted belief system that describes people with pervasive feelings of insecurity and self-doubt who have anxious feelings related to being exposed as a fraud in their work, despite being verifiably successful." The hosts reveal how this syndrome often affects high-functioning, accomplished individuals who struggle to internalize their success.

The discussion takes a powerful turn when Brad shares a story about Gary Vee telling a young woman, "You are somebody now," causing her to cry with relief. This moment crystallizes the episode's core message: your worth isn't tied to your achievements or recognition. As Tiffany poignantly notes, "I don't want to be 61 thinking I still didn't do any of those things because I held myself back because of my thinking."

Whether you're battling perfectionism, attributing your success to luck, struggling with receiving compliments, or feeling like you'll eventually be "exposed" as inadequate, this episode offers practical strategies for challenging negative self-talk and embracing your true worth. From examining the stories you tell yourself to seeking honest positive feedback from trusted friends, Brad and Tiffany provide actionable steps toward healing and growth.

Ready to break free from the cycle of feeling unworthy? Listen now, and remember – you are already somebody, worthy of every good thing that comes your way.

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Have you ever wondered how much honesty plays a role in your relationships? This week, we dive into the transformative power of truth. From personal stories to the psychological motivations behind lying, we explore all angles of honesty. Discover the delicate balance of being truthful while also being kind and considerate, especially in moments that matter.

We discuss why transparency is vital in relationships, highlighting how honest communication can clear misunderstandings and deepen connections. Get ready to challenge yourself as we address the implications of being too honest and the often uncomfortable truths behind our social lives. We want to encourage you to reflect on your honesty journey—are you truthful with yourself and those around you? Your thoughts and experiences matter! Tune in to explore these crucial questions, and leave us your comments or reviews. Help us spread the importance of honesty in our lives!

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Today’s discussion breaks down the often confusing relationship between motivation, discipline, and consistency. We dive into why motivation can feel fleeting, the importance of establishing discipline, and the power of setting clear goals to create lasting habits.

• Morning greetings and a light introduction 
• Exploring the significance of motivation, discipline, and consistency 
• Personal stories reflecting the balance between motivation and hard work 
• Understanding how motivation doesn't always last, emphasizing discipline's role 
• Discussing practical methods to tackle distractions and challenges in daily routines 
• Final thoughts on embracing discipline and consistency in our lives 

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This episode focuses on five essential rules that can enhance marital relationships and promote joy. We share insights on the importance of having fun, speaking positively about your spouse, being slow to speak and quick to forgive, communicating goals and dreams, and the continual journey of getting to know each other.

• Emphasizing the necessity for fun to foster connection 
• Encouraging individuals to speak well about their spouse 
• Discussing the importance of being slow to speak and quick to forgive 
• Highlighting the value of communicating goals and objectives 
• Acknowledging the ongoing process of getting to know one another

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