I am a completely manly man. I have explained that in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. Manly. I use a chain saw. I take out the trash. I fly an airplane. I kill spiders. I have fathered whole schools full of children. I open doors for my Lady, and help her in and out of the car. I occasionally spit and scratch and pick my teeth. I never ask for directions while I'm driving, and I always know a shortcut that the GPS never heard of. I am the Louie Louie Generation answer to Tarzan.

I was a beach lifeguard when I was a kid. I do thousands of one arm pushups every hour. I am a fourth degree black belt in judo, karate, and kickboxing. I have my own big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room, and I sit in it tall, and straight and proud. My hormones are intact and constantly over active. And I am in total shock at something my Lady Wonder Wench did today. It has to do with Motts apple sauce and it cut to the very core of my manhood.