I AM SELF-ISH

Episode 89 – This Is Not a Drill-

Ohaji Free on Truth, Propaganda, Mental Health, and Activism

I Am Self-ish Podcast

What happens when misinformation becomes easier to consume than the truth?

In this episode, Will Wright sits down with activist and educator Ohaji Free, also known as Simple Black Theory, for a wide-ranging conversation about truth, propaganda, politics, mental health, Black masculinity, and the responsibility we all have to look deeper than the information placed in front of us.

Ohaji explains why staying informed requires more than scrolling headlines or trusting a single source. He shares how he researches issues by comparing news coverage, reading across multiple perspectives, and challenging information instead of accepting it because it confirms what he already believes.

Will and Ohaji explore how propaganda and anti-intellectualism can shape conversations about race, immigration, DEI, reproductive rights, trans healthcare, public assistance, and political power.

The conversation also turns inward.

They discuss Black mental health, hypermasculinity, patriarchy, and what happens when men are taught that anger is acceptable but vulnerability is weakness. They examine how emotional suppression affects relationships, communities, and the ability to ask for help.

For Ohaji, activism is not limited to protests or political movements. It can mean reading, teaching, voting, volunteering, questioning what you have been told, and helping create safer and more informed communities.

At the heart of this conversation is a reminder:

What you see is not always the whole truth. Dig deeper.

Ohaji Free is an activist and educator behind Simple Black Theory. His work focuses on challenging misinformation, examining social and political issues through multiple perspectives, and encouraging people to think critically about the systems shaping their lives.

Produced and Edited by Will Wright

William Wright
Certified Master Practitioner
Career & Leadership Coach
📧 [email protected]
📞 646-645-1509
🌐 www.iamself-ish.com

Be bold. Be SELF-ISH.
Less stress. More choice.

About Ohaji Free

Episode 88-They Did Not Believe Her

The Cornell Case and Every System That Failed Her

I Am Self-ish Podcast

In this episode, Will Wright responds to the Cornell case involving a former student who alleges that she was drugged and sexually assaulted by seven fraternity members.

Will looks at what happened after she came forward, including the decision not to prosecute at the time, Cornell’s internal response, and the larger question of what institutions owe people who report sexual violence.

The episode focuses on the difference between internal accountability and criminal accountability, and on what can happen when a survivor’s first statement is treated as the full story instead of the beginning of an investigation.

Will also explores the mental health impact of reporting trauma, especially when someone feels dismissed, questioned, or forced to prove that what happened to them was serious enough to matter.

This is not a conversation about ignoring due process. It is about examining how systems respond when someone comes forward, how trauma can affect what a person is able to say in the beginning, and why disbelief can become another layer of harm.

Will connects the case to larger conversations about feminism, accountability, institutional responsibility, and the cost of silence.

At the center of the episode is a simple message:

“What happened to her counts. What happened to her matters.”

The case has since received renewed attention, and the criminal investigation has been reopened.

This episode asks listeners not to let the story disappear into the background and to think seriously about what belief, protection, and accountability should look like when someone says they have been harmed.

“What happened to her counts. What happened to her matters.”

The case has since received renewed attention, and the criminal investigation has been reopened.

This episode asks listeners not to let the story disappear into the background and to think seriously about what belief, protection, and accountability should look like when someone says they have been harmed.

“What happened to her counts. What happened to her matters.”

The case has since received renewed attention, and the criminal investigation has been reopened.

This episode asks listeners not to let the story disappear into the background and to think seriously about what belief, protection, and accountability should look like when someone says they have been harmed.

Produced and Edited by Will Wright

William Wright
Certified Master Practitioner
Career & Leadership Coach

📧 [email protected]
📞 646-645-1509
🌐 www.iamself-ish.com

Be bold. Be SELF-ISH.
Less stress. More choice.

Episode 87 – I Am a Feminist

I Am Self-ish Podcast

In this episode, Will Wright says something plainly and without qualification:

I am a feminist.

Will explains what that word means to him and why it has become an important part of how he understands his identity, his work, and the community he wants to build.

He describes feminism as a belief in full social, political, and economic equality, and he pushes back on the idea that equality requires making someone else smaller. For Will, feminism is not about being anti-man. It is about challenging the systems, expectations, and behaviors that limit people from being fully human.

The conversation also becomes deeply personal.

Will reflects on years of feeling like he was always in the wrong room, constantly adjusting himself to fit the space around him while never feeling completely true to who he was. Finding language for what he believed helped him understand something that had been there for a long time.

No one should have to shrink, hide, or apologize for who they are in order to deserve dignity, opportunity, or respect.

Will also speaks about the pressures men face, including expectations around strength, vulnerability, and mental health, and why he believes those struggles can exist alongside conversations about equality.

This episode also connects to the larger mission of I Am Self-ish. For Will, putting yourself first is not about disregarding other people. It is about giving yourself enough permission to question what you were taught, understand what you actually believe, and live in a way that feels more honest.

Will is no longer interested in telling a smaller version of his story to make other people comfortable.

This is part of that story.

Produced and Edited by Will Wright

William Wright
Certified Master Practitioner
Career & Leadership Coach
📧 [email protected]
📞 646-645-1509
🌐 www.iamself-ish.com

Be bold. Be SELF-ISH.
Less stress. More choice.

Episode 86 – Built From the Inside

I Am Self-ish Podcast

I do not coach because I have everything figured out.

I coach because I know what it feels like not to.

In this episode, William Wright gets personal about the real reason he does this work and why the idea of a “perfect” coach can be so misleading.

William shares how his own experiences with anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia, identity, and purpose shaped the way he understands coaching. He explains that coaching is not about giving someone a formula, telling them what to do, or pretending to have all the answers.

For him, coaching is about creating space.

Space to think. Space to tell the truth. Space to hear yourself more clearly. Space to be challenged without being judged.

William also talks about why this work is so personal. There was a time when he did not have a safe place to put his own pain, shame, and questions. That experience became part of the reason he created the I Am Self-ish Podcast and built a coaching practice centered on choice, self-trust, and permission.

He is also clear about something else:

He is still doing the work too.

Growth does not require perfection, and support should not be reserved for people who have already hit a breaking point. You do not have to wait until things get worse before asking for help.

At the heart of this episode is the meaning behind SELF-ISH.

Not selfishness as disregard for others, but permission to take up space, care for yourself, and stop abandoning your own needs.

The podcast, the brand, and the coaching work all came from something William needed himself.

Now, he creates that space for others.

You do not need a perfect person to give you permission to start doing your own work.

Produced and Edited by Will Wright

William Wright
Certified Master Practitioner
Career & Leadership Coach
📧 [email protected]
📞 646-645-1509
🌐 www.iamself-ish.com

Be bold. Be SELF-ISH.
Less stress. More choice.

Paces & Places

I Am Self-ish Podcast

Running can be more than a sport. It can become a reason to travel, take a chance, meet new people, and discover what you are capable of.

n this episode, Will Wright sits down with Noa Besner, marathoner, running coach, and co-founder of Paces & Places, to talk about how running became a portal to travel, community, and personal growth.

Noa shares how she went from a non-athletic kid to completing 22 marathons around the world. Over time, races became less about simply crossing a finish line and more about experiencing new places, connecting with local culture, and creating memories around movement.

That idea eventually became Paces & Places, a small-group race travel company built around challenge, connection, and discovery. Each trip pairs a destination race with curated experiences, training support, and a built-in community for runners of different paces and experience levels.

Will and Noa talk about the nerves and excitement that come with a starting line, the difference between chasing a time and chasing an experience, and why support can sometimes be the thing that helps us finally take the leap.

Noa also shares how the inaugural Paces & Places trip to Tromsø, Norway, brought runners together for the Midnight Sun Marathon and an Arctic adventure under 24-hour daylight.

At the heart of the conversation is a simple reminder:

You do not have to be an elite runner to do something bold.

Sometimes the next race, trip, or challenge is not about proving something. It is about giving yourself permission to create a memory you will never forget.

About Noa Besner

Noa Besner is a longtime marathoner, RRCA-certified running coach, NYRR group coach, and co-founder of Paces & Places. After completing 22 marathons around the world, she created the company to combine her love of running, meaningful travel, and community.

Website: pacesplaces.com
Instagram: @paces.places

Connect with Paces & Places

Upcoming destinations include Bermuda, Greece, Norway, and Scotland.

“Run smart, run strong, run happy.”

Produced and Edited by Will Wright

William Wright
Certified Master Practitioner
Career & Leadership Coach
📧 [email protected]
📞 646-645-1509
🌐 www.iamself-ish.com

Be bold. Be SELF-ISH.
Less stress. More choice.

Episode 84 – Re-released: Why You Don't Trust Yourself
I Am Self-ish Podcast

Some conversations deserve another listen, especially when the pattern they explore keeps showing up.

In this re-release of Episode 64, Will Wright returns to a conversation about gaslighting and the quiet way it can erode self-trust over time.

Gaslighting is not always loud or obvious. Sometimes it looks like being told you are too sensitive. Sometimes your concern gets redirected into a conversation about your tone, your delivery, or your reaction. Over time, the original issue gets lost and your perception becomes the thing under question.

Will explores how these patterns can begin early in life and continue into relationships, workplaces, faith communities, and family dynamics.

The deepest damage is not always the argument itself. It is what happens afterward.

You begin hesitating on decisions you already know how to make. You overexplain. You look outside yourself for confirmation. You start questioning what you felt, what you saw, and whether your experience was valid in the first place.

That is where self-trust begins to disappear.

The turning point is not necessarily confronting the person who hurt you. It is learning to pause when you feel something, name what happened, and stop abandoning your own experience simply because someone else disagrees with it.

“Healing doesn't come from confronting the person who hurt you. It comes from choosing to stop outsourcing your reality.”

This episode is being re-released because rebuilding self-trust remains at the center of so many conversations about boundaries, relationships, leadership, and personal growth.

Recognition is not the end of the story.

It can be the beginning of a different one.

Produced and Edited by Will Wright

William Wright
Certified Master Practitioner
Career & Leadership Coach
📧 [email protected]
📞 646-645-1509
🌐 www.iamself-ish.com

Be bold. Be SELF-ISH.
Less stress. More choice.

Episode 83 – Inside the Session: When Anger Is All You Have

I Am Self-ish Podcast

What happens when anger is the only thing keeping you moving?

In this Inside the Session episode, William Wright reflects on two coaching sessions with a client he calls James, with identifying details changed for privacy.

James is grieving the death of his mother after carrying much of the caregiving responsibility largely alone while also dealing with family conflict, resentment, guilt, and the pain of being legally blocked from seeing her before she died.

James initially came into coaching asking for direction and clarity about what to do next. But underneath that practical question was something deeper: fear about what might happen if he stopped moving long enough to fully feel the grief.

William explains that James was not resisting the work simply to be difficult. Anger and forward motion had become survival tools. They helped him function when slowing down did not feel safe.

The sessions explore the belief that healing requires closure, even though closure is not always available. Rather than pushing James toward emotion or forcing a breakthrough, William allowed the conversation to move where it needed to go and returned to the deeper issue when the moment felt safer.

One question became central:

“What permission do you want to give yourself right now?”

The episode reframes anger as something that may have served an important purpose. The problem is not that anger existed. The question is what happens when the emergency begins to pass and anger is no longer the only thing required to survive.

William also challenges the idea that every coaching session should end with a breakthrough. Real coaching is not performance. Healing is not a race, and resistance does not mean someone is incapable of change.

Sometimes resistance simply means the burden is heavy.

Sometimes the most courageous thing a person can do is stay in the room long enough to begin understanding what the anger has been protecting.

“The resistance you feel toward your own healing is not evidence that you cannot heal.”

Produced and Edited by Will Wright

William Wright
Certified Master Practitioner
Career & Leadership Coach
📧 [email protected]
📞 646-645-1509
🌐 www.iamself-ish.com

Be bold. Be SELF-ISH.
Less stress, more choice.

Episode 82 – Wired Differently

I Am Self-ish Podcast

What happens when talented people spend more energy trying to fit into the workplace than actually doing their best work?

In this episode, Will Wright sits down with Ray Gordon, founder of Lumi Workplace, for a candid conversation about neurodivergence, workplace masking, psychological safety, and why so many capable people struggle inside systems that were never designed with them in mind.

Ray shares his experience of growing up knowing he was intelligent while also feeling like a failure. His ADHD diagnosis in his mid-30s helped him understand years of overworking, self-doubt, and masking throughout his corporate career.

Will and Ray discuss what masking can look like at work, including changing how you speak, dress, make eye contact, interact socially, and behave because you believe being yourself may not be accepted.

They also explore ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyscalculia, OCD, synesthesia, and why neurodivergence affects more workplaces and families than many people realize.

Ray reflects on his corporate experiences at companies including EY and Glia, where he eventually founded a Neurodiversity Employee Resource Group. That experience helped inspire Lumi Workplace, where he now works with both organizations and neurodivergent professionals.

The conversation examines what true neuroinclusion requires, from recruiting and interviews to performance management, sensory environments, culture, and what Ray considers the foundation of it all:

Psychological safety.

Ray challenges leaders to stop automatically viewing neurodivergence through a deficit lens. Instead of beginning with what someone struggles with, ask:

What is this person exceptionally good at?

Because inclusion is not about helping someone become more like everyone else. It is about creating environments where people do not have to hide who they are to succeed.

Ray Gordon is the founder of Lumi Workplace. After more than two decades in corporate leadership, including American Express and EY, his ADHD diagnosis changed how he understood his career and years of masking at work. Today, he helps organizations create more neuroinclusive workplaces and coaches neurodivergent professionals as they build their

careers.

Website: lumiworkplace.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/rayagordon

Driven to Distraction
How to ADHD on YouTube
Failing at Normal TED Talk
“Antidepressants Are So Not A Big Deal” from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Produced and Edited by Will Wright

William Wright
Certified Master Practitioner
Career & Leadership Coach
📧 [email protected]
📞 646-645-1509
🌐 www.iamself-ish.com

Be bold. Be SELF-ISH.
Less stress, more choice.

About Ray GordonConnect with RayResources Mentioned

Episode 81 – Turning Lead Into Gold

Frank Mesa on Turning Pain Into Power with the E-R-D™ Framework-I Am Self-ish Podcast

What if the hardest parts of your life did not have to become the rest of your life?

In this episode, Will Wright sits down with Frank Mesa, author, leadership strategist, and creator of the E-R-D™ Framework, to explore how adversity can become a source of growth instead of a life sentence.

Frank shares his story of growing up in Queens in a volatile immigrant household, becoming his mother's translator, and learning to survive environments shaped by violence, drugs, fear, and loss. He reflects on carrying a gun to school, the teacher who challenged him to choose a different path, and how education eventually helped him begin breaking destructive patterns.

Frank went on to build a 31-year career with the New York State MTA, earning 11 promotions. But professional success did not mean every part of his life was thriving. He speaks candidly about three marriages, three divorces, heavy drinking, declining health, diabetes, and moments of deep despair.

Those experiences became the foundation of the E-R-D™ Framework: Evolve, Revolve, Devolve.

Frank explains how our choices either move us forward, keep us repeating familiar patterns, or pull us backward. He and Will discuss fear, emotional triggers, comfort zones, accountability, identity, and why awareness without the right tools does not always create change.

At the center of the conversation is one powerful reminder:

The next decision matters. Instead of trying to solve your entire life at once, pause and ask:

“Is this choice helping me evolve, keeping me revolving, or causing me to devolve?”

Frank Mesa is an author, leadership strategist, and creator of the E-R-D™ Framework. Drawing on more than three decades of executive leadership experience, his work focuses on self-leadership, behavioral patterns, intentional decision-making, accountability, and examining what he calls “the receipts on ourselves.”

He is also the author of Alchemy: It’s As Easy As E-R-D, Turning Pain into Power and helps individuals and leaders recognize the patterns shaping their decisions so they can create better results in life and business.

LinkedIn: Frank A. Mesa
Instagram: @frankmesaerd
TikTok: @frankmesa_e_r_d
Facebook: Frank Mesa
YouTube: Frank Mesa E-R-D™

Download Frank’s complimentary E-R-D™ Life Assessment Workbook, a 12-page self-assessment designed to help you identify where you are evolving, revolving, or devolving in your health, finances, relationships, and career.

https://e-r-d.com/resources/erd-life-assessment-workbook

Produced and Edited by Will Wright

William Wright
Certified Master Practitioner
Career & Leadership Coach
📧 [email protected]
📞 646-645-1509
🌐 www.iamself-ish.com

Be bold. Be SELF-ISH.
Less stress, more choice.

Episode 80 – Stop Pushing Through
I Am Self-ish Podcast

We are often taught that strength means pushing through.

Push through the pain. Push through the grief. Push through the stress. Keep moving. Keep functioning. Do not let anything slow you down. But what happens when pushing through becomes the very thing keeping us from actually healing?

In this episode of the I Am Self-ish podcast, Will Wright explores the difference between pushing through a difficult experience and actually going through it.

Pushing through can sometimes be necessary. There are moments when life requires us to keep moving despite what we are feeling. The problem begins when pushing through becomes our only response.

Will explains that pushing through often means using our energy to get past a feeling as quickly as possible. Going through something means staying present with the experience long enough to understand what it may be trying to show us.

The difference is not speed. It is presence.

When grief, sadness, stress, or emotional pain is repeatedly pushed aside, it does not always disappear. It can return later as anger, numbness, heaviness, resentment, exhaustion, or patterns we cannot seem to understand.

Sometimes what we call strength is simply avoidance with better branding.

Going through an experience does not mean becoming stuck in it. It means giving yourself permission to acknowledge what is happening before immediately trying to manage it, fix it, or convince yourself that you should be over it.

Will encourages listeners to replace suppression with curiosity and begin asking:

“What is this feeling trying to tell me?”

Hard experiences often carry information. They can reveal what matters to us, what we need, what we value, where our boundaries have been crossed, and what truths we may have been avoiding.

Real resilience is not simply the ability to keep moving.

Real resilience is the ability to keep growing.

The next time life gets difficult, instead of automatically asking yourself how quickly you can push through it, pause long enough to ask:

“What is this trying to teach me?”

You do not have to fix every feeling immediately.

Sometimes the work is simply being willing to stay present long enough to hear what the experience has been trying to say.

Produced and Edited by Will Wright

William Wright
Certified Master Practitioner
Career & Leadership Coach
📧 [email protected]
📞 646-645-1509
🌐 www.iamself-ish.com

Be bold. Be SELF-ISH.
Less stress, more choice.