Many of us avoid taking responsibility for the choices we've made by claiming that we can't help it, it's who we are. This isn't true. It's not who we are. It's who we've chosen to be. Certainly, we were programmed in many ways to be the person we now are, but this is not etched in stone. We can change. We can choose different thoughts, different emotions, different reactions, different actions. We can become the person we want to be despite the dramas and traumas of our past. But it requires that we do the work. When asked why we did something, it is not acceptable to say, "I don't know." We need to know. We need to dig deep if necessary to discover our true feelings and fears that motivate much of our behavior if we wish to change it.