struUse HBDI to Manage Conflict at Work

Looking to manage conflict at Work? Well, you can use HBDI, the Hermann Brain Dominance Instrument. Join us in this third instalment of this HBDI series with Darren Smith and George Araham.

You Can Read the Full HBDI Transcript Below:

Darren A. Smith:

Hi, you're at the home of the world's stickiest learning. My name's Darren Smith, and this is George Araman. George, how are you?

George:

I'm great, Darren. Thank you. How are you today?

Darren A. Smith:

I am good. I'm good. I'm keen to share with our listeners about HBDI. This is the third in our series of podcasts and I'm just going to read the title out to make sure I get it absolutely right. It says I really don't know how to manage conflict at work. Use HBDI to manage conflicts at work, so that's the title of our podcast. And George has kindly allowed us to share his HBDI. Herman brain dominance instrument profile. So this is a profile. It's a bit like Myers Briggs is a bit like disc. It's a bit like insights. The reason we favour Herman is it's lovely and simple, simple to use and it really just has four colours and it's a it shows the thinking preference.

 

Conflicts are a natural part of life

 

Darren A. Smith:

So there are blue, yellow, red, green and this shows almost the thinking preference of George's brain. So what this tells us is he likes to think in the big picture, creative. He likes to think in the people feelings area. But when it comes to facts, struggles a bit and when it comes to form and structure. Plan he struggles with that as well. Now the thing to say is we can do all four colours, we can do all of this. My metaphor is that George does yellow and red in 5th gear and maybe blue and green in second gear.

George:

Spot on.

Darren A. Smith:

All right. So that's a really quick summary and an overview of HPDI for anyone who hasn't seen it before. George, what have I missed on there? Your news HBDI, what have I missed that people would want to know?

George:

So far, like from what you mentioned, it seems great. We already talked a lot in our previous podcast like how we can overcome the differences and how we have like I think what would be really interesting for us to delve into is with regards to conflicts, how what is the best way to like manage conflicts from different perspectives.

Darren A. Smith:

OK. OK. Well, let's, let's start with conflict hard now. I've been doing soft skills as a training provider for 20 years and I've come to 11 absolute fact on conflict. It's hard. It really is. It's exhausting. It takes energy, it consumes our brain. It's those things that we lay down at night and think, oh, how did that happen? How did I get to that place? So conflict is not easy. And what I read a lot lately about is people. Let's avoid conflict.

George:

OK.

Darren A. Smith:

Just can't you imagine there's seven 8 billion people on the planet. With all these microcosms of banging together and they're gonna bang together, they're going to have conflict. They're not going to think all the same way. And do you know that's all right. We don't have to agree.

George:

Yeah. And it's a good thing, or else with the own robots. If I'm thinking the same way.

Darren A. Smith:

Well, we would, we would. Well, let me give you an example. So George, what's your favourite food favourite meal?

George:

Depends on the like. I would say sushi or pizza or.

Darren A. Smith:

OK, so you love sushi. I mean, I happen to as well, but let's say you love sushi and I didn't. And I liked only fish and chips. That's OK. Now we have a small conflict there. We don't have to disagree, but let's take that into the more passionate disagreements that we might have. It's still OK. It's still OK that you have a different perspective to me. And maybe that's a good thing that you have a different perspective to me.

George:

Yeah.

Darren A. Smith:

OK, so conflict is hard.

George:

I was just like, I was just wondering if you had like. In in your years of experience as a trainer, if you could give us an example of a conflict that you experienced or that you witnessed. That can maybe represent each of the four quadrants, the blue, the red, the like either on both sides or in the same side. So for example a red fighting a red, yellow, red or yellow and maybe like the opposite quadrants and how things were. Like we're actually diving deep into the practicality and things now.

Darren A. Smith:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. That's good. Well, let me do it in two ways. First, let's do it. Something close to home. Moving home, our house, our home. Where we all go back to. So let's take these, these four colours. So if a blue is buying a home, well, let me ask you. They're the facts. But fact based people, what do you think they're looking for in a home?

George:

OK. How much does it cost? How much can I sell it later on? Is the location prime? How can I improve? Sorry.

Darren A. Smith:

How far is go?

George:

Yeah, basically everything that's factored like how many square metres is the apartment? Do we have a garden? Do we have a terrace? Do we have, like, any secret chambers?

Darren A. Smith:

Yes. Yes, brilliant. And it might be. It's 3.1 miles to the school. That's an interesting fact. It costs £150 to heat it per month. OK, these are all facts. And the Blues are absolutely right. They're seeking information.

George:

True. Yeah.

Darren A. Smith:

Then then let's move over to our yellows. Our big picture people. What are they looking for, do you think?

George:

Actually the example I just gave, so they're looking for the Harry Potter kind of secret chamber, the big ideas, the beautiful. Villa that is hidden somewhere in the wander nurse or maybe in the middle of the like something beautiful. Big, inspiring something. When you wake up, you're like, whoa, this is my home. So it's more like it's a bit close. I think when it comes to home with Reds and yellow. But maybe the idea is bigger. You know, if it makes sense.

Darren A. Smith:

OK, OK. So these guys were looking for a home. They're looking for. How does it sit within my life? Can I live here comfortably? If we're a young family, will it allow us to have another child? Could I knock down that wall? Put that wall in and make a lovely Conservatory. These are the things that yellows are looking for. So they're, they're creative. They're big, picture their future. And then let's come to our greens. Our next steps. What do you think these guys are looking for in a house?

George:

So when how are gonna we do the installments? When are gonna we pay the installments? How many installments can we pay?

Darren A. Smith:

Yeah.

George:

How far is maybe the house from the office?

Darren A. Smith:

You're right. They're planning their day. They're planning their new. Yeah, they're planning weekends where they've gotta go and visit the in laws. They're thinking about all those good things. All right, fabulous. And then let's come to our Reds. Our feelings. People type people. What are they looking for?

George:

Planning and process and stuff like this. Yeah. The feelings I wanna live by the sea. I wanna live by the mountain. I wanna live here. This reminds me of that. This is. Oh, I'm nostalgic. I'm looking at there and like those kinds of things.

Darren A. Smith:

Brilliant. Brilliant. OK, so we understand our four quadrants and how they think. Now let me ask you a question. Are any of them wrong? Of course. So what we then have is, let's say these four people were buying a house together and the Blues pushing for the facts and the yellow for the creative, and you get the idea. But none of them are wrong. And what we've got to do is accept that people have different views to us and it might be using the Herm model that we can then talk about each other with each other as third party. So I might say to you, George, I want to buy this house. I'm a yellow. You're red. I can see why you feel that way.

Darren A. Smith:

That's important to you. It's important that it feels good because it's next to the sea and I'm, oh, I want to knock down this room and change it into three rooms. You might say, OK, I can see that vision. Thank you for helping me.

George:

That's easy part.

Darren A. Smith:

So none of none of these perspectives are wrong, and yet they all cause conflict. And the more conflict happens across because it's harder to understand.

George:

Yeah. Now this is like I was gonna ask like imagine you have a Philly like a red person versus a blue person. One is gonna talk about feelings, the other is gonna talk about facts like no, the investment is gonna cost like £500,000. The other is gonna be like be like. But I love this home with me. It's me. Feel nostalgic. It makes me feel. So how do you resolve that conflict? How can you like each one understands logically or in their mind. But like the their visions are like so far apart that.

Darren A. Smith:

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's tough, it's tough and it's not gonna be easy. Conflict coming back to what I said is hard. So the first step is accepting that everyone thinks the same way we do. OK, so I think, like this, I accept. You feel like that or think that or think this way. So that's the first part. The second part is we need to be able to articulate it.

George:

Yeah. OK.

Darren A. Smith:

So I'm articulating that because I'm yellow, I think like this, I see this and that will help with the communication because I'm a red. I feel this I'm going to try and expand all my feelings to help you understand him and then wouldn't it be great if we can put all those views together and buy the house that suits them all?

George:

Yeah.

Darren A. Smith:

Or agree a way that we might problem solve it together. Where we're what we're not going to do is take 4 coloured straws, pick one and that's who we go with.