So much of my life has been spent worrying about what other people think. I stressed over what people would think of how I was dressed, my hair, my makeup or lack thereof, my weight, my shoes, whether the colors I was wearing suited my complexion. Does anyone remember when we had to know what "season" we were? There's so much pressure to know what we're doing. I opted out. I made myself as invisible as possible. I dressed in black. I wore clothes that hid my shape as much as possible. Stepping out and doing my hair, makeup, and outfit and going out in public with people who knew me was a risk I avoided at all costs so I knew it would eventually have to be faced which is how I found myself at number 49 on my list.... I drew attention to myself physically.