At my brother’s funeral, I wanted to stand up and speak.

Instead, I froze.

My mind raced. My body shut down. I left… and I drank.

In this raw and intimate episode, I unpack what really happened beneath that moment,  how grief collapses time, how stress overwhelms the nervous system, and why shame can be louder than loss.

This isn’t about perfection.

If you’re navigating sobriety, grief, masculinity, or the weight of being “the strong one,” this episode will feel familiar.

Sometimes we don’t fall because we’re weak.

Sometimes we fail because we care too much.