“TELL ME ALL YOU KNOW!”

“NO! NEVER!”

I zapped her with the taser again.

“AHHHHHH!”

“I SAID, TELL ME ALL YOU KNOW!”

“FINE!” My mom started crying. “Fine, I’ll tell you.”

So. You’re probably wondering why I’m interrogating my mom. Well, it’d make more sense if I started from the beginning.

Before I was born, my parents were rich. Not MEGA rich, but they had a mansion, so I guess they were pretty rich. Anyway, you could say they had a pretty perfect life. Until, I came along. I’m what you’d call a “devil”, perse. I like trouble. I seek trouble. I LOVE trouble. *evil giggle* One time, when I was about 3 years old, I set fire to my parents’ Porsche cos I was bored. *evil laughter* Ahh, good times. *clears throat* Anyway, my parents’ perfect life completely changed once I came into the picture. They had to deal with vandalism, bills, angry principals, angry neighbours - all that jazz. So you can imagine their disappointment when they found out Mom was pregnant. I was about 7 years old at the time. They brought home a baby boy, and as soon as I laid eyes on him, I knew - I was going to protect him.

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