Have you ever been told – “You always have to be right!”? There’s likely been at least one time in your life when this has been said to you. And chances are, you’ve said it to someone else. To have to be right seems to be a human issue.

Does it ever “bug” you that a certain person just always has to be right? Maybe you are that person. If so, does it bother you that you pursue this image of being right – no matter what? And here’s the hard question. Is it even on your radar how it affects others that you have to be right?

You know how it is talking with a “have-to-be-right person.” In those conversations, even arguments, you begin to realize – “Here we are again! They just have to be right!”

Perhaps it’s a group project with multiple, intelligent, creative people. Maybe a business meeting, a community organization, a neighborhood or family gathering. It could even be a friend. But “that person” takes the helm and tries to convince everyone their approach is best.

The topic could be about anything. Finances, cars, property, relatives, politics, religion – to name a few. The scenarios are endless – because – you soon realize it really isn’t about the topic. It’s about the person that has to be right. More examples where “that person” may insist they have to be right:

It’s annoying to have a situation deteriorate to a place where a person argues and just won’t let it go. In fact, as we already identified – it ceases to be about the conversation, topic, or plan. For some odd reason, it has become about that other person – again! – who feels they have to be right.

It’s as if their well-being or life-value is somehow connected to being right (in their mind). Some people have even figured out how to always be right in a socially acceptable manner – a “nicey” kind of clever, sugary way.

We need to start in the right place. It always starts with “me” whatever side of the issue you are on.

1.  If you are sometimes “that guy,” ask yourself good “inner person” questions:

2. If you are stuck on the other end with “that guy,” those questions can help you, too. That’s because the tension “that guy” creates develops conflict, irritation, and unrest. It literally makes people bristle. But coming to terms with your inner person helps you know how to respond. You can maintain peace even if “that guy” isn’t at peace. So PAUSE and ask the questions.

3. Whichever guy you are, managing your heart increases inner peace. It elevates self-confidence, and reinforces the life-value God has already given you. Plus, by willingly standing down, re-evaluating, and making adjustments to your approach, you do three important things:

As far as managing interactions with the other person who always needs to be right, well – it takes a pensive approach to be positive and practical. This approach is a skill good managers learn in order to empower staffs, teams, and departments. It’s a skill critically needed by families, friends, and neighbors, too. Parents need these skills with strong-headed toddlers and overly-confident teens. Really, everyone should figure out how to interact with others who always have to be right.

Here are a few helpful tips to remember when selecting responses to “that guy:”

That’s a short list on how to interact with another person who just has to be right. But when we feel we just need to be right, a PAUSE helps to look at perspective and managing oneself.

Do you know why looking in the mirror (looking inside yourself) is best practice when managing the tension of having to be right? Well, simply put –

In the end, you win if you maintain Christ-like character. And you lose if you go after your own agenda.

What about when others persecute you? What if you have humbled yourself and are still judged by the standards others have? How does a person handle being slandered, gossiped about, made a fool to others who don’t know the situation. Even in persecution, it’s best to not get caught in the cycle of “I have to be right!”

This is when it gets challenging to do the right thing and where a price is paid for extreme growth and personal training. You can become skillful at working through difficulties with others – especially if you work to solve the issue without compromising your character.

How does one maintain peace and joy even under the onslaught of others who judge and criticize? Best responses come from the person who lived His entire life like this. Jesus is a fabulous example of how to live misunderstood – but always right.

You don’t “have to be right” to follow His example. Know why? Because God already sees what’s right. He knows the details. Even more important, He sees and knows your heart. If a person thinks they have to be right, the heart is the best place to begin.

Let’s find some guidelines from Ps. 49:3 to establish and measure good action steps. “My mouth shall speak wisdom; the meditation of my heart shall be understanding.”

Conversely, if you “have to be right,” you are serving self, not God who gave you life and purpose. This conduct means your character will not be Christ-like, but rather serve yourself – and the enemy.

There is one time it is always right to dig in – at the place of surrender to God. Being completely aligned with God helps you think, speak, and act when you deal with “that guy.” In this place, you are always right!

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