-What are the common characteristics of a codependummy email? (hint: we do too much!)

 

-Why do we take so long to write certain emails to certain people to express certain needs?

 

-How can you stop being such a codependummy emailer and start to email like a healthy interdependent codependiamond?

 

In this episode, I take a deep dive into what and how a codependummy emails! I have a confession–I have been and am very codependent when it comes to sending and receiving EMAILS. I’m a codependummy emailer! I’ve wasted hours typing and deleting, sending and undoing, compulsively replying and ignoring those around me since I am codependent AF in my inbox. You’ll hear me share the 8 characteristics of a codependummy email, including how we compose emails and what makes up our emails. I share an example of a codependummy email from my own life and then conclude with ways you can stop playing small and start taking up space in your inbox, ya dummy! 

Helpful links:

www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing - check out The Confiding Codependummy for just $1 a day for the next month (it’s $30 total). 

www.codependummy.com - check out the Self-Validation Challenge for free!

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC - help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link! 

More deets on this week’s episode:

 

We begin, per usual, with our beloved check in. 

 

Next, we take a look at the 7 common characteristics I have found make-up the body of as well as the composition of a CODEPENDUMMY EMAIL!

 

The common characteristics:

• We begin with niceties 
• We do too much (offering too many times and too many choices)
• We do too little (as not to impose or intrude, we say “sometime next year?”)
• We apologize or at least sound apologetic (So sorry to ask but could you resend…)
• We add smiley faces, emojis, or gifs to help ease tension 
• We take too long to write an email
• We follow-up when we don’t hear back
• We respond too promptly

 

I then take a deep dive into each characteristic by providing examples and answer WHY! Why do we begin with niceties? Why do we do too much? Why do we take too long to write an email?

 

I spell out the details of the body of a codependummy email then the composition of said codependummy email. 

 

You’ll hear me provide an anecdote from my own life when I engage in all (or most) of the common characteristics of a codependummy email:

 

• I began with niceties: Happy Monday!
• I did too much: offered multiple times to meet via brunch or lunch (when I was the invitee!)
• I was apologetic: I’m out of town [with added details/proof] the next several weeks. Can we plan on X date?
• No emojis so that’s a relief
• I followed-up when he didn’t respond! 
• I took too long to write “no, I’ve changed my mind.”
• When I did sent my email, I think I threw my phone to the other couch and ran away. Why? AVOIDANCE OF CONFLICT. CONFLICT AVOIDANT. 

 

We conclude with some ways you can be an interdependent codependiamond when it comes to emails:

1. Set a timer. Before you have to start an email conversation or when you have to respond, take a few breaths and discern “How much time ought to be dedicated to this email? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? 60 minutes?”
2. Niceties are nice but not necessary. 
3. Provide 2-3 options. Period.
4. Only apologize if you made a mistake or hurt someone. 
5. Emojis for enthusiasm! 
6. Only follow-up if you need to.
7. Get feedback, input, and advice from trusted others when composing a stress-inducing email.

 

Thank you for being here. Episode 83. That’s a wrap!

PLEASE R.R.S.S:

Rate. 

Review.

Subscribe. 

Share.

We have close to 170 reviews in Apple. Thank you and keep them coming. I noticed I only have 11 ratings on Spotify so for you spotify users, I’d appreciate if you go in to the show page and find the “rate the show” button then add a rating. Thank you in advance!

If you’re needing more than just these episodes to combat codependency in your life, here are some additional options and resources:

-get your copy of the Confiding Codependummy: 30 days of journaling prompts for a less-codependent and more-conscious you! www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing 

-The Self-Validation Challenge - free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek: www.codependummy.com 

-If you are wanting to dive into your codependency deeper one-on-one, please email [email protected]

Support the show via a one-time secure donation: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC 

I will see you all next week!