The Stone in My Shoe

I Stopped Forcing My Life… And Everything Changed with Dr Alla Demutska


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This conversation explores what happens when the way you’ve always coped with life quietly stops working.

Dr Alla Demutska shares her experience of growing up in an environment shaped by instability, fear, and uncertainty -where control, achievement, and constant effort became a way to feel safe. From the outside, it led to success, resilience, and capability. But underneath, there was something else driving it.

Over time, that pattern of pushing, solving, and holding everything together began to take its toll. Not in a dramatic or obvious way, but through a growing sense that something wasn’t quite right — even when life looked fine.

The turning point didn’t come from a single moment. It came from reaching a place where pushing harder no longer worked. Where the instinct to override, fix, and control couldn’t carry things forward anymore.

What followed wasn’t about changing everything overnight. It was about something more subtle, and often harder — learning to stop overriding what she felt. Letting go of the need to force outcomes. Allowing life to unfold in a different way.

This conversation is for you if:

• You’re used to holding everything together
• You find it hard to slow down or stop pushing
• Your life looks “fine” but doesn’t feel fully aligned
• You’ve started questioning the way you make decisions
• You’re beginning to notice what you’ve been overriding

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How early experiences shape patterns ofcontrol and over-functioning
• Why pushing and achieving can become a way to avoid deeper feelings
• What it looks like when those strategies stop working
• The difference between forcing life and allowing it
• How to begin listening to what you’ve been overriding

There’s a quiet honesty in recognising thatsomething isn’t wrong — but something isn’t fully true either. And sometimes,the shift doesn’t come from doing more, but from noticing what you’ve beendoing all along.

Guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.compassionate.psychologist/
Guest Website: https://demo-ten-liard-29.vercel.app/index.html

Rewired & Radiant Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rewiredandradiant
Rewired & Radiant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579968982281

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The Stone in My ShoeBy Debbie Thompson