Rundown: why I've been slacking on everything, why my Until I'm 20 challenge ruined me, your 20's are hard, I pierced my own ear, emotional pain lasts longer than physical pain, when I get sick I get depressed, thrifting was a bust, my 20th birthday trip, I always have no expectations for my birthday, my loneliness has made me more mature, what I admire and respect about myself, I don't want to be a Debbie downer, appreciate the people who actually care for you, am I caring or just a people pleaser, I can get what I want but not what I know I deserve, I'm not satisfied with who I am as a person, drop my whole life and start a new one, your mind doesn't control you, are we really in control of our decisions, I feel like a dark aura took control of me, personality trumps appearance, I'm way too aggressive for soft/healthy love, I deleted Instagram and Snapchat.