Have you ever wanted to take revenge on someone for something they did? It’s a pretty common desire when people make us angry. But when you have taken that revenge – how did it make you feel?

There are some people in my life who have really hurt me. Of course, we all have ups and downs and we all suffer emotional bruises and scratches along the way. That’s pretty normal. But what’s also fairly normal, sad but true, is that we each have some people in our lives who have deeply, deeply hurt us. Sometimes they do something really, really bad like abusing you when you were child; or a wife or a husband cheating on their spouse; or a business partner swindling you out of money. Other times its not that there’s anything particularly big or bad about what they’ve done, it’s funny how the little things can really hurt.

One of my greatest memories of growing up as a child was that I was never really one of the ‘in’ kids. I was always different somehow. See, all the other boys, they were good at sport, running, jumping, football, cricket – but I wasn’t. I was a short, dumpy, studious kind of a kid. I could play 3 different musical instruments because I came from a musical family. I was almost always at the top of my class, I was a keen learner but I couldn’t play sport for nuts. I’m a big cricket fan but I can’t hold a bat or bowl a ball. And all that in a sports-mad nation like Australia. Well as a kid growing up, it was a big deal I have to tell you.

So the other children would poke fun at me, pick on me and that affected my own view of myself. It affected what they call my self-esteem. And it only got much worse when after finishing school I joined the military and that whole negativity was reinforced. So they don’t have to be really big things. I remember wanting to take revenge on the kids who made fun of me and picked on me.

I would plot these sinister things in my mind, and you know, when I hear about one of those high school massacres, it brings back those dark and difficult days. And I can still remember vividly my feelings for revenge. Now I never seriously contemplated anything like a massacre, but I have some small understanding of how the pressure and the other children can cause someone to snap like that. It’s a terrible, terrible thing.

Many people spend much of their time thinking about revenge. Wars are about revenge. You look at the centuries of killing in Northern Ireland, in the Middle East. Much of the escalation was about revenge – tit for tat killings. And whilst it may feel at the time that revenge is justified, revenge never fixes anything. It never heals anything. It doesn’t restore things. It doesn’t make things better. Revenge appears to be logical but it’s the worst thing we can do.

The opposite of revenge is forgiveness. The opposite of revenge is reconciliation. One of the great marvels of the ending of the apartheid system in South Africa was the leadership of Nelson Mandela who having spent 27 years in prison took on the presidency of the nation with a heart to see healing and not revenge.

Of course, South Africa still has it’s problems, of course it will take more time, maybe a generation or two, to see yet more change, but it’s Mandela’s refusal to exact revenge that makes him one of the greatest and most respected leaders of our time. And of course, before him, in India there was a man called Mahatma Ghandi. And before those two there was a man called Jesus. And this is what Jesus had to say about revenge. He said:

Look, you’ve heard it said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth’. But I say to you, don’t resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek turn the other one also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give them your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everybody who begs from you and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you. (Matthew 5:38-42)

Now my reaction to that when I first read it was that this is about being a weakling. I should just roll over, I should just be a doormat for people to walk all over and wipe their feet on. But as the years have passed it’s more and more struck me that turning the other cheek is a huge act of courage.

It takes a lot of strength not to lash out with revenge. It takes a huge amount of courage to refuse to take revenge. When someone offends you and you just want to say something harsh back to them, holding your tongue, staying silent is really, really hard, isn’t it? Letting injustice pass and simply forgiving it without having a say, without getting restitution, without at least taking a swipe is so difficult.

And yet as we see in Mandela’s case, as we see in Ghandi’s case in recent history there is a greatness about choosing to break the cycle of revenge; there is a greatness about reconciliation; there is a greatness about being the person that says, “No, I will not take revenge”. It takes courage, it takes character, it takes the ability to forgive. And that right there is maturity and greatness.

I wonder how different this world would be if just you and I learned to be people who turned the other cheek. How much less conflict there would be. Seems to me that turning the other cheek … well, it’s going to cost us something in the short term, but it’s the one thing that will break the cycle of abuse and revenge when we refuse to strike back.

It takes the wind out of your assailant’s sails; it turns the opinion of those around us against the person who’s doing the wrong; it brings goodness into a difficult situation. And let’s face it, we’re never going to overcome evil with evil, are we? The only way to overcome evil is with goodness because evil begets evil.

Let me encourage you, the next time you want to take revenge try something different – turn the other cheek. You might just be amazed at the result.

Okay, but words are cheap. It’s easy for Jesus to say these things, but it’s another thing entirely for Him to live them out. But that’s exactly what He did. He didn’t just say this stuff – He lived it.

On the night He was betrayed by one of His own to be crucified, they came to arrest Him in the garden of Gethsemane. And Peter, one of His Disciples, drew a sword and cut off the ear of one of the assailants. But Jesus said, ‘No more of this!’ And He touched the man’s ear and healed Him. (Luke 22:51)

Having done that, Jesus let them arrest Him, accuse Him, beat Him and nail Him to a cross. He took this ‘turning the other cheek’ thing to the extreme, to the point where it cost Him His life. Revenge never wins but turning the other cheek does. Forgiving does. Love always defeats evil and good always defeats evil. It’s what the Apostle Paul wrote many years later:

Don’t repay anyone evil for evil but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it’s possible, as far as it depends on you, live peaceably with everyone. Never avenge yourselves but leave room for the wrath of God. For it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord’. Now if any of your enemies is hungry, feed them; if they’re thirsty, give them something to drink. By doing these things you will heap burning coals on their heads. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21)

Are you challenged? Yes, me too. But you know something, it works!