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I Was Here, But I Wasn't Alive
Some of us are not alive while we are here.
This episode came from a moment I had recently — one I did not plan, but could not ignore.
Sitting in a movie theater, I found myself thinking about something I have thought about many times before: the difference between the time I have lived and the time I likely have left.
But this time, it stayed with me.
What struck me most was not only that time is limited.
It was how different life can feel once you finally arrive at something real — and realize how long it took to get there.
For a long stretch of my life, I was not really living.
I was just getting through it.
In this episode of THEE BIG SWING, I reflect on what it feels like when something you have known for a long time becomes something you can no longer ignore — and the quiet realization that life moves faster than you think.
This is not advice.
It is just something I am seeing more clearly now.
And maybe it is worth seeing a little earlier.
This episode is also paired with the original companion song “Alive While I’m Here,” performed by Marcus Reede, from Thee Big Swing Sessions.
The episode tells the story.
The reflection goes deeper.
The song carries the feeling.
Send us Fan Mail
[Send us Fan Mail](https://www.buzzsprout.com/2569456/fan_mail/new)
THEE BIG SWING with Lloyd Hassell
There's a version of you that existed before something shifted - before a conversation, a decision, a thing you almost didn't say. You don't always recognize the moment it happened. You just notice, later, that you're not who you were.
This is a reflective podcast about those moments: the emotional reckonings and subtle internal recalibrations that change our trajectory over time - and the possibilities still available in life.
Each episode explores what happens when curiosity, courage, accountability, or reflection opens a new way of seeing ourselves and the world.
Through personal reflections and conversations, Lloyd explores changing identities, relationships, self-trust, and the quiet decisions that alter how we see ourselves over time.
This is for people who are quietly realizing they are not the same person anymore - and that there are still choices left.
The biggest swing isn't always dramatic.
Often, it's the shift inside that changes everything.
If something here stayed with you, you can reach me at [email protected]
View all episodes
By Lloyd HassellSome of us are not alive while we are here.
This episode came from a moment I had recently — one I did not plan, but could not ignore.
Sitting in a movie theater, I found myself thinking about something I have thought about many times before: the difference between the time I have lived and the time I likely have left.
But this time, it stayed with me.
What struck me most was not only that time is limited.
It was how different life can feel once you finally arrive at something real — and realize how long it took to get there.
For a long stretch of my life, I was not really living.
I was just getting through it.
In this episode of THEE BIG SWING, I reflect on what it feels like when something you have known for a long time becomes something you can no longer ignore — and the quiet realization that life moves faster than you think.
This is not advice.
It is just something I am seeing more clearly now.
And maybe it is worth seeing a little earlier.
This episode is also paired with the original companion song “Alive While I’m Here,” performed by Marcus Reede, from Thee Big Swing Sessions.
The episode tells the story.
The reflection goes deeper.
The song carries the feeling.
Send us Fan Mail
[Send us Fan Mail](https://www.buzzsprout.com/2569456/fan_mail/new)
THEE BIG SWING with Lloyd Hassell
There's a version of you that existed before something shifted - before a conversation, a decision, a thing you almost didn't say. You don't always recognize the moment it happened. You just notice, later, that you're not who you were.
This is a reflective podcast about those moments: the emotional reckonings and subtle internal recalibrations that change our trajectory over time - and the possibilities still available in life.
Each episode explores what happens when curiosity, courage, accountability, or reflection opens a new way of seeing ourselves and the world.
Through personal reflections and conversations, Lloyd explores changing identities, relationships, self-trust, and the quiet decisions that alter how we see ourselves over time.
This is for people who are quietly realizing they are not the same person anymore - and that there are still choices left.
The biggest swing isn't always dramatic.
Often, it's the shift inside that changes everything.
If something here stayed with you, you can reach me at [email protected]