’A man often meets his destiny on the very road he takes to avoid it’’. Jean De La Fontaine

You’re standing over a golf putt & all that’s going through your head is ‘’ don’t miss it, don’t miss it, don’t miss it’’. All your energy & mental focus is on ‘trying not to fail’. Your arms tense up. Your hands start shaking. Your heartbeat starts to rise. And so, most likely, what happens? You miss the shot.

This is called playing in a fear-based state of mind. It’s natural. Your mind & body is tapping into it’s ‘fight or flight’ system. It believes there is a threat and so the body tenses up limiting itself both physically and mentally. We see this in all sports and even in some workplace scenarios like presentations.

How do we stop this? We need to neutralize the fear.

We want to arrive at a place of peace with both outcomes. We want to be ok with either winning or losing. To do this you need to think about the worst-case scenario. Missing the putt. Missing the penalty or losing the game. Visualize yourself in this scenario and sit with it. It may be uncomfortable and feel weird but just sit with it, embrace it and feel it.

The navy seals call this ‘emergency conditioning’. After you have sat with that feeling and feel comfortable with the idea of losing, start focusing your attention and energy on the enjoyment of the game.

Focus on the process. Play for the win. Don't play so as not to lose.

When you do this, you're no longer running away from the ‘fear the failing'.

Now if you miss a shot or mess up, you’re ok with it. You have familiarized yourself with the situation. You won’t overreact and let your ‘fear of failure’ and emotions take over.

We want to be able to play for the win but not by running away from the fear of losing.

Neutralize the fear and then start playing for success.

Let go of any expectations and focus on the process.