ilisil chitchats

uuuuuuuurgh, imposter syndrome. you… you jerk. some days you get moments where you know how hard you worked and of course, if you get praise for it, you know it’s well deserved and then you get those other days where you feel like, “is this me? really?” yes, darling. it is you. but then why tf do you feel like it isn’t??

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in today’s episode i’m exploring minimalism as taught by The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, after watching their two documentaries. i am considering what minimalism is and who it’s really for. for a long time i thought of minimalism as a mere aesthetic with furniture i couldn’t afford, until i learned about the lifestyle side of it. i may have been bit… may have.

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it’s a brand new year. brand new season. brand new me? is “new year, new me” still a thing? what does that even mean and do people actually succeed in whatever goals they set for themselves that they need to achieve this year? if so, give us pointers :)

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i believe this to be the story of a thousand, if not millions of South African women who lived in the apartheid era, thus it’s somewhat more relatable than the stories of our icons. in this episode we talk about the telling of such stories when it comes to language and how our stories can mostly be understood if we tell them ourselves instead of going at it the Hollywood route.

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the older you grow, the heavier certain terms you call someone become. ‘friend’ has such a heavy emphasis on it that you don’t know who to call friend, you don’t know who is your actual friend or you don’t know whose friend you are. i’m swapping that for organic relationships without labels.

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listening to this episode, i think i delved a little too deep in 365 Days/Dni. this will be more of a audio essay about this film that left me a little breathless to say the least. i apologise in advance. lawlz* kidding... but nonetheless, i hope you enjoy.

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i took some time off after a hectic period of time that sucked the energy out of me and it was the best thing that i could have done for myself. let me walk you through the discoveries of introspection and how to get a step closer to accepting that it’s okay not to always be levelheaded and being okay with being human.

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we need to talk about these romantic films and how after a century, they still attempt lie to us. not sure if it’s a generational thing, but i’m pretty sure the older we get, the less we buy into these things and we prefer realistic portrayals or dissections of relationships. The Day We Didn’t Meet is a fantasy that let’s us know from the get go and keeps reminding us that the romance between Sam and Alex is fantasy but soon things get real. 

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we’re taught from a young age that for us to get anything, we have to ask and we shall receive. “you can’t do things on your own...” when you ask and ask and no one budges, then surely you’re not gonna keep wasting your energy. it’s not giving up or giving in, it’s called knowing when to stop and move on. i’ve recently decided to take a huge step back to protect my peace.

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i liked this film and there were some parts of it where it really came close to home, right? so during my research, watching behind the scenes, interviews and other people’s thoughts, the only adjective that stood out to me was ‘toxic’ but obviously from people’s opinions. naturally, this concerned me because again, something clicked and i was like okay… maybe my feelings about the authenticity of the relationship portrayed and the ‘argument’ portrayed was wrong. and i learned a heap!

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