What if the problem isn’t you — but the way wethink about mental health?

In this episode, Jess Leondiou speaks with RossEllenhorn about why so many people feel stuck, disconnected, or exhausted by self-work, even when they’re doing everything they’re told should help. Together, they explore more humane ways of understanding distress, change, and the need to feel held by others.

This episode will help you think differently about mental health, not as something to fix, but as something shaped by connection, meaning, and context — and why losing those things can make even small challenges feel overwhelming.

The conversation explores:

• Why feeling “unheld” makes life feel harder

• How therapy and psychiatry can become overly focused on fixing

• The idea of fear of hope and why staying the same can be protective

• How diagnosis and labels can shape identity

• Creativity, art, and play as ways humans make meaning

This conversation stayed with me because it gave language to experiences I know many people feel but rarely hear named —especially the pressure to change without feeling supported, and the loneliness that can sit underneath self-improvement.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing the inner work but still feel disconnected, this episode offers a different frame — one rooted in recognition, curiosity, and shared humanity.

Guest Resources https://www.ellhorn.com

Programs and clinical work https://www.ellhorn.com/programs

Books

How We Change (And Ten Reasons Why We Don’t)

https://www.harpercollins.com/products/how-we-change-ross-ellenhorn

Harold and the Purple Crayon and the Creative Imagination

https://www.harpercollins.com/products/harold-and-the-purple-crayon-and-the-creative-imagination-ross-ellenhorn

Chapters 0:00 Intro

02:32 Ross Ellenhorn on mental health, sociology, and his work

04:45 Why trying to “fix yourself” doesn’t work

07:32 Psychedelics, therapy, and the problem of medicalising healing

10:58 Loneliness, feeling unheld, and why connection matters

15:26 Conformity, creativity, and how we handle uncertainty

19:48 COVID, isolation, and threat assessment theory

29:59 Therapy, connection, and speaking in states not labels

34:01 Fear of hope, change, and why staying the same feels safer

47:31 Art, play, ritual, and creating meaning together

01:06:12 Final reflections on hope and human connection

Listen to more Make Your Mind episodes

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This podcast is sponsored by Archleys — toolsfor introspection and self-connection.

Shop now: https://www.archleys.com

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