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I'm The Mama Now - Creating Boundaries As You Become Parents
You're the mama now! Jen and Alise give you some encouragement and tips on how to set boundaries with family that may have expectations on the way you might parent or birth. Don't feel forced to do things the way they've always been done. Setting clear boundaries and having hard conversations early on will often make moving forward as a parent easier on your relationships.
1. Get on the same page with your partner- parents on the same page are able to come together stronger and create stronger boundaries and hold up those boundaries. Clearly define what your rules, expectations and parenting style looks like. If you are anti “Daddy’s Princess” clothing and partner isn’t it will be hard to come together and communicate that to your family and friends.
2. Communicate your needs clearly with friends and family- This isn’t about coming off as the boss and demanding things from kind and willing help. This is about saying, if you want to visit, we would love to have you plan your stay after we’ve had a few days to bond or we won’t be able to take you sightseeing…We will need lots of help and any help you can provide is appreciated.
3. Stand strong and firm- Hold your head up high and know that you are meeting your needs. Healing, eating, rest, feeding your baby… Visitors need to go, you need to rest not show out-of-town family around the city, it’s okay for them to visit without coffee and you get to hold your own baby. It’s hard to set these boundaries. They are new for you and that’s ok. They get easier.
4. Trust your instincts – You get to let your instincts guide you in parenthood. It may look the same as how your parents parented or how your in-laws parented, or the exact opposite. There is a right way for your family and when you dial in to what feels right in your gut or your heart, you will know.
5. Your rules can change anytime you want- We were are better parents before having kids. It’s ok to lay down the law about TV or wooden toys and then change the rule when you want. It’s ok to say you don’t want visitors in baby’ first week and then suddenly realize that you need someone to make food and do your laundry. It’s a parenting style not a contract.
P.S. Put your clothes in the dryer. You're welcome.
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By Alise McAllister
4.9
2222 ratings
You're the mama now! Jen and Alise give you some encouragement and tips on how to set boundaries with family that may have expectations on the way you might parent or birth. Don't feel forced to do things the way they've always been done. Setting clear boundaries and having hard conversations early on will often make moving forward as a parent easier on your relationships.
1. Get on the same page with your partner- parents on the same page are able to come together stronger and create stronger boundaries and hold up those boundaries. Clearly define what your rules, expectations and parenting style looks like. If you are anti “Daddy’s Princess” clothing and partner isn’t it will be hard to come together and communicate that to your family and friends.
2. Communicate your needs clearly with friends and family- This isn’t about coming off as the boss and demanding things from kind and willing help. This is about saying, if you want to visit, we would love to have you plan your stay after we’ve had a few days to bond or we won’t be able to take you sightseeing…We will need lots of help and any help you can provide is appreciated.
3. Stand strong and firm- Hold your head up high and know that you are meeting your needs. Healing, eating, rest, feeding your baby… Visitors need to go, you need to rest not show out-of-town family around the city, it’s okay for them to visit without coffee and you get to hold your own baby. It’s hard to set these boundaries. They are new for you and that’s ok. They get easier.
4. Trust your instincts – You get to let your instincts guide you in parenthood. It may look the same as how your parents parented or how your in-laws parented, or the exact opposite. There is a right way for your family and when you dial in to what feels right in your gut or your heart, you will know.
5. Your rules can change anytime you want- We were are better parents before having kids. It’s ok to lay down the law about TV or wooden toys and then change the rule when you want. It’s ok to say you don’t want visitors in baby’ first week and then suddenly realize that you need someone to make food and do your laundry. It’s a parenting style not a contract.
P.S. Put your clothes in the dryer. You're welcome.