Impolite Company with Demetra Gray

I'm pregnant!! So the podcast has been on a longer break than I expected. But here we are for a surprise one-off episode to give some updates. Kristin (whose first interview was back in episode 17) and I both recently moved to new places, and we both have the experience of going from New Age to Christian and now trying to find a home church. We've both been trying a variety of churches to see where we fit, and we share some of the things we've noticed here.

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We are moving countries soon and the podcast is taking a break! Maybe it is a summer break or maybe we will never return. Only God knows the answer to these questions. Not joking. I tell you all about how much I miss Fourth of July and how I am taking all pressure off myself and having a season of joy and nourishment and fun, focusing on in-person life and how I feel about tech and social media. And I tell you about how fun this podcast has been to create :)

In this episode Danyelle and I go deeper into mind control tactics, how narcissists work, and how and why it's so easy to fall into their trap. We discuss cult dynamics and the cult mind, and what made us each more susceptible in our experiences. We also talk about exactly how Danyelle healed and what that experience looked like - plus we touch on eating disorders and how control of food and also sex can play into cults and cult recovery.

Danyelle's first episode on this podcast was episode 13, where she told us the full story of how she grew up in a Christian cult, only to run away and be groomed into another, more intense cult full of sexual abuse and financial exploitation.

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A 28-year-old woman from the Netherlands joins us (anonymously) to talk about her experience with body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria, how she hated her breasts and wanted to cut them off (from puberty until age 25), and how she ended up discovering through therapy she was engaging in for another reason that this feeling was a result of memories she had completely suppressed of sexual assault. This story coincides and intertwines with her experience of finding God. She grew up in an atheist family and ended up playing around with the occult and New Age practices, only to have an absolutely chilling experience of a demonic spirit attacking someone in front of her, which turned her toward God. She is now deeply Christian. We discuss evil and our experiences with Christianity and how it’s easier to fight the enemy when you know it well. 

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A few weeks ago, Aubrey Marcus released a podcast explaining how God told him to open up his marriage and find a younger woman and how the spirit of Isis told him to impregnate both of them. Our characters are Aubrey, 44; his wife Vylana, 38; the new addition Alana, 28; and Marc Ganfi, a culty ex-rabbi posing as a "relationship coach" who was accused of molesting young girls in his time as a youth leader. Jade and I dissect the dynamics of this podcast — about what we call "God," how we know "truth," the tactics narcissists use to manipulate others, our own experience in the sex coaching world, opinions on polyamory, and more.

Videos referenced in this episode:

The Aubrey Marcus podcast episode on YouTube

Clip of Marc Gafni on Dr. Phil (a hilarious bit)

Clip of Gafni on Dr. Phil where his victim explains her story

Jennifer Jade Merrihue is a relationship coach, sexologist, & medicine woman. Her background is in philosophy, academia, neuropsych, CBT, Eastern & Western medicine and philosophies, Neotantra/Taoism, human sexuality, existential/ spiritual kink, alternative relationships and sacred sexuality, nutrition, relationships, trauma, Neurolinguistics, psychology… among many other things! You can connect with her on Instagram @jennifer.jade.merrihue or on her website merrihue.com. 

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Dylan was once in school to become a Jesuit priest, but after a heartbreak and disillusionment with the people around him, he left the church to find himself. We talk about abortion (Dylan used to be pro-life and is now pro-choice, I used to be pro-choice and now am pro-life), assisted suicide and how much role the government should have in our lives, and capitalism’s influence on feminism. We discuss the US healthcare system, the importance of accountability in conservatism, and if human morality solely comes from faith. We also touch on how women should not be priests, why Dylan feels spiritual experiences come mainly from human connection, his experience witnessing the Jesuits around him, sin, good and evil, shame, and freedom. We talk about the transgender epidemic, the role of family in society, and how suburban living could be the root cause of a lot of our societal distress. Dylan talks about his past experiences and future aspiration with political activism. 

Dylan Bain, CPA, MBA, is the managing partner at TrueNorth CPAs, bringing over a decade of expertise in tax and accounting. A former math teacher and wrestling coach, Dylan is passionate about education and mentorship. He’s deeply involved in men’s work, including with The Savage Legion. Dylan’s journey also includes an aspiration to become a priest, informed by his extensive education in Catholic schools from kindergarten through graduate studies. Though he no longer identifies as Christian, he remains profoundly influenced by Jesuit philosophy, especially the concept of cura personalis, which emphasizes care for the whole person. A devoted family man, he shares his life with his amazing wife and two beautiful daughters.

Kristin used to travel the world and be super into New Age spirituality, and after finding God she’s finding herself settling down somewhere in the US and discovering who she is now. We discuss how an experience with a demonic spirit following her around and attacking her led her back to Christianity. She talks about discovering Protestantism, how she feels about astrology and those types of things now, being obedient to God, and sanctification. I share my experience with Christianity and how God has changed me. We talk about how our role is not to judge others, lukewarm Christians, navigating friendships through changing political beliefs, being a woman, HouseInhabit, and listening to God. 

Kristin always had a heart for truth, and a mind full of existential questions revolving around what life is and who are we. This curiosity led to explorations of many kinds including a tour around the world focused on breaking familial/cultural programming while also seeking out ancient healing & spiritual traditions. At 18, she renounced the Catholic Church she grew up in and became steeped in the New Age beliefs, she added studies of shamanism, eastern traditions and varying spiritual/energetic practices over the years. The search felt endless and harrowing. After years of spiritual warfare and spending most of her life as a foreigner to both God and America, she returned to each one over the last few years. God led her to receiving Jesus and after learning the Truth of who He is, she was directed back to the USA. After 13 years abroad in Bali & Australia, she's now on a search for a God centered home, husband, community & church. She can be found on Instagram @where_being_resides and on Substack @KristinGiacopelli (more writing to come). 

Demetra's Substack

Demetra's website

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Christina and I discuss her mom’s journey with cancer and how Christina has navigated her death. We also discuss all the loss she has witnessed as a paramedic, my brother’s car accident and my own experience of loss, culty health beliefs (like Christina’s experience of Scientologists), the things people say during grief that are not helpful, feeling angry and “irrational” feelings after loss, the role of paramedics in choosing when someone dies, organ donation, and the spiritual aspects of loss and death. We also talk about not giving all your trust to doctors, how to help people cope with grief, & many more things!

Christina is a paramedic first responder, nurse, and new mother of an 8-month-old boy. She spent many years deeply immersed in all things yoga, meditation, and Eastern medicine. Having lived in four states across both coasts and the Midwest, she has gained insight from her experiences in both traditional healthcare and New Age practices.

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Holly and I talk about growing up in South Dakota, her evangelical Christian upbringing, hell houses (like haunted houses for Christian children), and how she got kicked out of her Christian high school for asking questions. We discuss how aspects of her experiences were culty, her transition into a more New Age spirituality, and how we feel suspicious of people who claim to channel God. We discuss if the Bible can be trusted, why I am Christian and why Holly is not, the trend of New Age people turning Christian, and the impending return of traditional values in our society. 

Holly Crawford is a writer, editor, and word witch who lives for a good story and a strong cup of coffee. She’s the lead editor at Reality Sandwich, where she curates content on psychedelics, consciousness, and counterculture. With deep roots in the cannabis world and a soft spot for all things mystical, she brings heart, humor, and a little chaos magic to everything she touches. Holly lives in Seattle with her husband, stepdaughter, two opinionated cats, and a smooshie-faced dog named Oliver. You can find her on Instagram @m_sungreen, on Substack, or somewhere between the veil, the algorithm, and the orcas of Puget Sound.

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Raphaëlle wasn’t planning on homeschooling her kids, but when she discovered what her son was learning in public school she decided to explore other options. We discuss why so many people are pulled to homeschooling nowadays, the history of education in North America and how it is set up to produce obedient workers rather than creative thinkers, and what other opportunities are possible. We also talk about our own experiences in public schools, the importance of community in raising children, food budgeting and planning, and the judgements that people have around homeschooling. 

Raphaëlle is a homeschooling, married mama of two who was completely immersed in her work as a real estate agent before having children. Then she flipped her world upside down as she started on her healing journey. Her old life slowly came apart and things unfolded beautifully. These days, she is interested in conscious parenting, child development, relationships, yoga and spirituality, psychology and personal growth. She enjoys deep conversations, reading and writing, nature, and learning. She is putting more energy into creating a business in which she can serve others and help them create a life that is in alignment with their deepest values. It’s what she is in service to preserving in her children and what she can help you find if you have lost it. 

Raff's website, Instagram, Facebook

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