A podcast of deeply important questions, asked by you, answered by us as truthfully as we can. This week: What is Jeff Goldblum doing in hundreds of the world's bathrooms? If an artificial intelligence is forced to speak English, are its civil rights being compromised? Could the government turn your mother into a ringtone?

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Discussed: being implicitly hoisted by a fellow old person, ringtones, global government regulation of ringtones, Nick Breckon's mother as a ringtone, Google DeepMind AI learning to walk hilariously, new robot-created negotiation language, new Nick Breckon-created worthless storytelling language, baffling robot-created stock image phone cases, cheese wheel on bady, slightly creepy matched father/daughter love jewelry, slightly baffling matched father/father love jewelry, Jeff Goldblum shower curtain, Dr. Sbaitso digital voice assitant, Windows 95 Dragonforce MIDI smart home, "Siri, play Zombocom on every surface"

Chris' Endorsement: Travel-related online services Google Flights, TripCase, and Citymapper

Nick's Endorsement: Setting up remote computer control apps like Chrome Remote Desktop or TeamViewer to help your parents with computers

Jake's Endorsement: Graphing the distribution of English letters towards the beginning, middle or end of words

Sponsored By: Quip electric toothbrushes, those little floss picks, those things are great

Shoutout To: Jake (not Rodkin), from Ethan—get your own!