We're not sure what your friend told you when they handed you this podcast, but you might not want to press play. Not because it's bad or something (we're pretty proud of it actually), but because, let's just say, it's incredibly cursed. If you dare listen, it may not turn out well for you in the long term. That said, no risk is without its rewards. In this case, you can listen to us puzzle through some crucial questions of the ages, like: Is Walt Whitman alive? Who is the Ketchup King, and why do they remind us of a trip to work with dad? And, will a bittersweet Facebook video solve the mystery of who killed you? Find out quickly; if you got this far you probably don't have much time left.

Discussed: Loving my coffee mug, hating Mondays, cursed videotapes, detailed newspaper coverage of Walt Whitman's decline, no hope for Walt Whitman, an unfavorable turn in the condition of Walt Whitman, Walt Whitman about the same, the Walt Whitman beat, generated Facebook videos of your memories, generated Facebook memories algorithmically predicting your future death, obscene food combinations, peanut butter/jelly/ketchup sandwiches, "I Am The Ketchup King (and the Ketchup King Likes You Very Much)," overwhelming sensory experiences destroying good things, The Year I Hated Ketchup, the nerdy version of teenage awkwardness manifesting itself in incredibly self-destructive ways, drinking vinegar, Vine, "Share Your Curse Online," inevitable future CW or BBC crime shows in which algorithmic Facebook video montages are crucial clues, Happy Valley (Netflix, BBC), seemingly normal things that may be death in disguise, the powerful and seductive fantasy of throwing your keys or phone into a storm drain, the horrifying reality of watching your keys fall into a tiny crack in the ground, The Aviator

Chris' Endorsement: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) (Amazon, iTunes)

Chris' Subendorsement: Someone who thinks the framework for this endorsement is pathetic.

Chris' Sub-Subendorsement: La Mer, performed by Julio Iglesias (YouTube, Spotify, Amazon, iTunes)

Nick's Endorsement: Too Funny To Fail (Hulu)

Jake's Endorsement: The Pacifica Taco Bell (Business Insider article about Pacifica Taco Bell)