In Residence with Keith and Laura

What happens when your expectations no longer match what you can do? Keith and Laura explore how expectations shape their relationships with each other and themselves. 

Preparing for surgery, Laura wrestles with the fear of letting people down and the frustration of needing more physical support. Keith reflects on their different approaches to rest, the importance of expressing needs, and his own habit of filling quiet moments with learning. Together, they explore how unspoken needs and demanding self-expectations can create frustration—with a partner or with yourself.

Accepting Support Without Judging YourselfLaura is feeling excited to have a surgery date, then worrying that her recovery will let people down. Her executive coach’s question—whether she deserves to pause and care for herself—helps name the tension. She offers a candid look at how difficult it can be to acknowledge a need when you expect yourself to manage without help.

Naming Needs and Making Room for QuietKeith connects unspoken expectations with resentment. He also encourages Laura to notice what remains possible during recovery without turning rest into another productivity project. His own challenge is leaving space unfilled. By exercising without a podcast or video, he practices paying attention rather than adding more input.

Moving Forward With Clearer ExpectationsThe takeaway is to notice when your expectations need adjusting, say what you need, and allow support without treating it as failure. This conversation connects three themes: giving yourself permission to pause, communicating expectations before they become resentment, and recognizing when self-improvement becomes another demand.

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Unspoken Expectations

00:00 - Intro
01:27 - Choosing to Pause and Record Later
02:28 - Preparing for Surgery and Feeling Guilty About Rest
05:05 - Different Ways of Resting and Recharging
07:25 - How Unspoken Expectations Become Resentment
10:44 - Flowers, Assumptions, and Saying What Matters
13:17 - Physical Closeness and Understanding Your Needs
14:55 - Physical Limits and Harsh Self-Expectations
16:43 - Comparison and Moving at Your Own Pace
18:04 - Recognizing Harsh Self-Talk
19:29 - A Lighter Detour: Forgotten Phones and Lanyards
21:17 - Reframing a Season of Rest and Recovery
24:47 - Downtime Without Turning Rest Into More Work
27:05 - Practicing Quiet and Paying Attention to Your Body
28:47 - Helping Each Other Notice When to Slow Down
30:45 - Closing

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The show notes were created with assistance from Perplexity AI, which helped generate and organize key points based on the podcast transcript.

Some challenges feel like a knot: several competing needs, old assumptions, limited time, competing priorities, and emotions all pulled tightly together. Keith and Laura discuss their experience attending the launch of Seth Godin’s new book, The Knot, and the practical ideas it offers for solving problems with more clarity.

A problem is something that can be solved. A situation is the context you are working within. Knowing the difference can prevent wasted energy and help you focus on the part of the challenge where you have agency.

See the Entanglements ClearlyKeith reflects on the ways people can become entangled with old expectations, preferred outcomes, and assumptions about what must remain the same. Sometimes we believe we are stuck because of a circumstance, when the real challenge is that we are unwilling to let go of something connected to it.

Progress begins with asking better questions o understand what you are solving and why. What is actually creating tension? What am I trying to preserve? What would need to change for this problem to become solvable?

Stop Catching Every Wild ThrowLaura connects Seth Godin’s juggling metaphor to work, relationships, and personal life. A wild throw is a task, request, emergency, or expectation that arrives without clarity or preparation. If you are capable and dependable, it can be tempting to catch every one.

Constantly rescuing poorly defined work can take energy away from the projects, relationships, wellness practices, and strategic priorities that matter most. Consider where you may be spending too much time catching someone else’s wild throw instead of improving your own rhythm, focus, and direction.

Start with the Real ProblemComplex challenges rarely unravel all at once. They require patience, curiosity, and the ability to identify the tension point that keeps the knot in place. Stay curious about the real problem. Before jumping to a solution, name the situation, identify the entanglement, and look for the next useful move. Discomfort does not always mean something is wrong. Sometimes it is evidence that meaningful change is underway.

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Entanglements • Wild Throws • Real Problems | Lessons from Seth Godin

00:00 - Intro
00:28 - Seth Godin’s The Knot and the New York book launch
01:13 - Meeting Seth Godin and experiencing the live event
02:14 - Problems can be solved
05:29 - The Dip, discomfort, and staying with difficult work
08:43 - The juggling metaphor: throw, drop, and catch
09:34 - Catching wild throws can pull you out of position
14:04 - Wild throws in relationships and collaboration
15:29 - The difference between a problem and a situation
17:24 - Entanglements, competing desires, and feeling stuck
22:24 - Falling in love with a solution before understanding the problem
23:24 - Why curiosity matters more than having the answer
24:13 - Untangling complex problems one tension point at a time
26:25 - Naming baggage and identifying what creates tension
31:20 - Creating together while protecting the relationship
32:40 - Final thoughts on The Knot
35:13 - Closing thoughts
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Visit the website and subscribe to In Residence with Keith and Laura for more conversations about leadership, relationships, personal growth, meaningful work, and designing a life that reflects what matters most.
The show notes were created with assistance from Perplexity AI, which helped generate and organize key points based on the podcast transcript.

Life can feel off before we have the words to explain why. You may notice less energy, more overwhelm, a shorter fuse, disconnection in a relationship, or the sense that your days are full without moving you toward what matters most.
In this episode, Keith and Laura revisit a simple practice for responding to those moments: notice what feels off, reflect on what may be underneath it, and choose one small action to try next. The goal is not to fix every part of life at once. It is to become more attentive and intentional in the present season.
Beneath the SymptomKeith begins with a recent feeling of disconnection between the two of them. Rather than treating that feeling as the entire problem, he reflects on what may be contributing to it. He discovers disrupted routines, an unplanned schedule, resistance around his creative work, and two weeks away from journaling have affected how he is showing up in several areas of life.
What we first notice may be a symptom. When connection, energy, or focus is off, it can help to pause before reacting and ask what else needs attention. For Keith, the next action is not a dramatic overhaul. It is returning to planning his days and making room to reflect.

Protect What Matters MostLaura shares that her signal is often overwhelm. She can feel productive and capable for a long time, until her commitments begin to crowd out the time, relationships, movement, and work that matter most. Her practice is to look at her calendar and ask whether it reflects her real priorities.
She also offers a useful decision-making tool: do, delete, delegate, or defer. Not every request requires an immediate yes. Sometimes the most responsible choice is to delay a meeting, hand off a task, remove a commitment, or protect focused think time for work that truly needs attention.
The Work Is OngoingBalance is not a perfect or permanent state. Different responsibilities will need more attention at different times, and two people can need rest in very different ways. The important work is staying honest about what is happening and making small adjustments.
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Out of Sync & Disconnected | Notice • Reflect • Act

00:00 - Intro
00:36 - Revisiting the Live, Love, Lead practice
01:46 - Recognizing that something feels off
03:06 - a symptom, not the problem
05:30 - Notice, reflect, and choose an action
07:09 - Laura’s overwhelm and shrinking time
08:31 - Busy seasons crowd out connection
13:07 - Work, family, health, and making room for yourself
17:08 - Balancing the outcomes of your decisions
19:02 - Does your calendar reflect your priorities?
20:24 - The Four Ds: do, delete, delegate, or defer
25:04 - Why dedicated think time matters
27:58 - Different rhythms and different definitions of rest
30:10 - Finding rest
33:04 - Two people who care moving at different tempos
35:24 - Why balance is not perfectly balanced
36:23 - Choose one thing to notice, reflect on, and address
38:08 - Closing thoughts

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*The show notes were created with assistance from Perplexity AI, which helped generate and organize key points based on the podcast transcript.

In this mixtape-style episode, Keith and Laura step away from the usual pressure to optimize every moment. Instead, they talk about the music, shows, books, hobbies, routines, and small discoveries that have helped them rest, reconnect, and enjoy life in a busy season. 

Not everything that supports your growth has to look like work. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is choose an activity that brings joy, gives your mind a break, or reconnects you to who you are.

Following Curiosity and ConnectionLaura shares how music, language learning, genealogy, and thrifting have given her new energy. Listening to Dolly Parton has been more than nostalgia; it has been a reminder to live with confidence, stay grounded in your values, and use your influence to serve others.

She also reflects on the unexpected value of following curiosity. Studying Swedish and Norwegian has helped her better understand the family stories she is uncovering through genealogy research.

Permission to Rest and CreateKeith brings a practical perspective on rest, creativity, and self-care. He shares how playing guitar, experimenting with piano, listening to fiction, and solving simple puzzles have offered a welcome change from work, information, and constant self-improvement.

He names a familiar tension: feeling guilty when rest does not appear productive. Rather than treating that feeling as a reason to push harder, Keith encourages listeners to notice it and allow a different rhythm when needed.

What helps you feel more like yourself?Whether she is singing in the car, learning a new language, enjoying football season, or finding a guitar at a thrift store with the kids, Laura reminds us that joy and connection are often found when we make room for the things that genuinely interest us. Keith aims for small, daily habits like weight lifting, listening or playing music, or setting aside twenty minutes for brain teasers and puzzles that help him decompress.

You don’t need a major life change to restore your energy. Small choices can improve your day and reinforce that taking care of yourself is worthwhile. Start with one guilt-free choice that brings you rest, creativity, connection, or enjoyment.

Thanks for Joining Us.

Visit withkeithandlaura.com for more episodes and resources, and subscribe to In Residence with Keith and Laura wherever you listen to podcasts.

Permission to Refill Your Cup Guilt-Free
00:00 - Intro
00:49 - Music as a way to recharge
01:00 - Laura on Dolly Parton, values, and standing tall
03:31 - Keith on Glen Hansard and returning to guitar
06:19 - Singing, music, and giving the brain a break
07:05 - Needing a different rhythm as the season changes
08:04 - Entertainment versus constant self-improvement
09:17 - Podcast & Show recommendations
14:03 - Twin Peaks: The Return
17:33 - Sports
21:20 - Games, puzzles, and language learning
25:12 - Laura’s genealogy research
27:31 - Books, audiobooks, and easy listening
30:28 - Family recipes, traditions, and connection
32:59 - Working out and Thrifting
36:23 - Closing thoughts
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Keith and Laura mark the podcast’s third anniversary by looking back at how the show has evolved. From a tentative creative experiment between two partners to making space for conversation, reflection, and the questions that shape everyday life, and personal growth. Laura and Keith discuss the discomfort of being seen, the value of sharing generously, and the practices that have shaped how they approach habits, relationships, work, and larger life goals. 

Letting Go of PerfectionismKeith reflects on the challenge of creating something for others while also managing self-consciousness and perfectionism. Recording and publishing the podcast required him to loosen the grip of needing everything to be exactly right before sharing it. Improvement and perfectionism are not the same thing. It’s good to care about quality and process, but not when the pursuit of a better outcome prevents meaningful action.

Showing Up ConsistentlyLaura shares the practice of “putting a pearl on the string.” The point is not to complete the perfect task or have the perfect day. The point is to show up and take action, even when the action is small, inconvenient, or less polished than you hoped. Laura encourages listeners to build structures that support the person they want to become—using frameworks such as habit stacking and above-the-line thinking to create better conditions for follow-through.

Why Not You?You do not need to have everything figured out before you begin. You can make progress by taking the next small step, learning as you go, and allowing your work to grow into something more than you originally imagined.Your goals may feel big, uncertain, or far away. Consistent action creates possibility for the change we seek. Take the next step. Make a new mistake. Move at your own pace. Then come back tomorrow and put another pearl on the string.

Thanks for Joining Us.
Small Steps, Big Goals | 3 Years of Growth
00:00 - Intro
00:38 - Celebrating three years of In Residence
03:25 - Learning to share more honestly
06:15 - Finding an organic rhythm for conversations
08:47 - Above-the-line and below-the-line thinking
15:32 - Put a pearl on the string
16:56 - Pain, uncertainty, and constant work
18:12 - The power of small, consistent actions
20:12 - Habit stacking and creating conditions for success
23:58 - Who is it for, what is it for, and what change are you making?
28:38 - Choosing possibility over fear
31:11 - What we hope to build in the next three years
33:33 - Creating connection, momentum, and community
34:05 - Big goals begin with small steps
34:57 - Why not you?
35:45 - Quote card throwback
38:06 - Is it worth trying to do?
38:41 - Closing

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The show notes were created with assistance from Perplexity AI, which helped generate and organize key points based on the podcast transcript.

Life can become crowded quickly. Work demands attention, relationships need care, health can require a new level of focus, and the activities that bring joy are often the first things to be pushed aside. In this episode Keith and Laura explore a simple framework for designing life with intention, on purpose: Live, Love and Lead.
These three areas are not meant to divide life into separate boxes. Instead, they offer a way to notice what is giving you energy, what is draining you, what may be missing, and where a small change could make a meaningful difference.
Reflection, Seasons, and Small Experiments
Keith describes the flexible structure the couple uses for gaining clarity. Live includes daily rhythms, wellness, rest, hobbies, creativity, and play. Love focuses on partnership, family, friendships, and community. Lead is where work, caregiving, contribution, and the ways we influence others is explored.
His central point is that intentional living begins with reflection. Ask what is working, what feels depleted, and what you want to change. Rather than trying to overhaul everything, Keith encourages small experiments. Playing guitar for five or ten minutes, reaching out to someone you miss, or creating more recovery time after a demanding project can be enough to begin building momentum.
Values, Boundaries, and a Full Life
Laura brings attention to the risk of allowing work, leadership, or caregiving to become an entire identity. Meaningful work matters, but it should not require sacrificing wellness, hobbies, relationships, or the parts of life that make a person feel whole.
She highlights the importance of communication, shared planning, and boundaries. Making room for connection can be practical: use a shared calendar, talk about upcoming responsibilities, and be honest about what you have capacity for. Boundaries also make it possible to invest energy in relationships and activities that genuinely support your well-being.
Start Where You Are
Accept the season you are in. Priorities shift as circumstances change, and a meaningful life requires flexibility rather than a rigid definition of balance. 
A full life is an ongoing practice of noticing, choosing, and adjusting. Consider one question today: What is one small step I can take to better support how I live, love, or lead?

Live, Love, Lead with Intention on Purpose

00:00 - Intro  01:07 - Why Live, Love, and Lead matter  04:14 - Introducing the three-part framework  06:04 - What it means to Live  06:45 - Leadership is more than a job title  08:25 - What Love includes: relationships, family, and community  09:02 - Wellness, hobbies, rest, and making space for joy  10:29 - Why downtime and recovery are necessary  13:11 - Making time for connection in busy lives  15:19 - Communication and shared calendars  18:02 - Friendship, family, and community as adults  22:12 - Setting healthy boundaries with your time  23:16 - Leading through work, caregiving, and contribution  25:10 - When work and leadership become your identity  28:21 - Priorities change with the seasons of life  34:29 - Designing life intentionally and on purpose   40:29 - Boundaries, expectations, and saying no  43:23 - How to put the framework into practice  44:06 - Reflection questions 46:52 - Start small and celebrate progress  47:06 - Closing thoughts 

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The show notes were created with assistance from Perplexity AI, which helped generate and organize key points based on the podcast transcript.

In this episode of In Residence, Keith and Laura swap their usual format for a live, unscripted couple's Q&A inspired by another podcast duo. Laura surprises Keith with ten questions about their relationship, from first impressions to what real love looks like after two decades together.
Patience, Presence, and Choosing Each OtherKeith talks about growing more patient through parenthood and through Laura's steady presence, noting that she gives him space to find the right words during hard moments. He credits her with pushing him toward adventure he'd otherwise put off, and shares that his clearest "this is my person" moment came recently, during a routine blood pressure check, when his mind drifted to memories of her asleep on the couch. He also reflects on learning to fully enjoy good times instead of bracing for something to go wrong.
Grounding, Growth, and Seeing the Best in PeopleLaura describes Keith as her grounding force, the reason she's learned to savor quiet mornings on the deck instead of always chasing the next trip. She recalls how his instinct to give people the benefit of the doubt, rather than gossip, shaped how she treats others. Her own "this is my person" story involves Keith calmly sweeping a garden snake off their deck with a broom. She also shares a memory from years apart, watching him drive by and sensing he was meant to do big things.
Real Love Isn't Perfect, It's ConsistentAcross ten questions, Keith and Laura land on the same idea: love isn't about getting everything right, it's about continuing to choose each other, make space to be heard, and hold onto individual identities while building a shared life.
Thanks for Joining Us.
Couples Questions | Strengths & Growth

00:00 - Intro & catching up amid technical difficulties01:15 - Laura reveals the surprise couple's Q&A concept02:23 - Question 1: First impressions of each other05:09 - Question 2: What attracted them beyond looks07:26 - Question 3: What Keith saw in Laura before she saw it in herself11:22 - Question 4: Early relationship memories that shaped them16:11 - Question 5: The moment they each knew "this is my person"22:38 - Question 6: What each partner brings to the other's life24:47 - Question 7: How they've grown and changed together30:14 - Question 8: What they wish their partner could see in themselves35:09 - Question 9: What they do well as a couple and what takes work39:12 - Question 10: What real love looks like after years together44:21 - Wrap-up and sign-off


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In this first episode of “Talking Out Loud,” Keith invites listeners into the messy, honest middle of getting unstuck and taking a small but meaningful leap. Instead of releasing a safe compilation episode, he chooses to sit down, speak directly to the camera, and hit publish on something new and unfinished.

Moving from Comfort to CourageKeith shares how easy it has been to settle into the familiar rhythm of his existing podcast with Laura, even while sensing he was capable of more. He names the tension between staying comfortable and stepping into new formats, new conversations, and new ways of building community. Rather than framing this as a grand reinvention, he focuses on small, consistent steps—using this short episode as a “rep” toward a stronger creative practice.

A personal nudge comes from the loss of musician Glen Hansard, whose work and presence deeply shaped Keith’s life. Remembering those encounters and the impact of Hansard’s music, Keith feels a renewed urgency to use his own time well, create work that matters, and show up for the people he loves. Talking Out Loud becomes both a practice and a promise: to get out of his head, say things out loud, and take imperfect action.

Moving Past Playing It SafeTalking Out Loud extends the ongoing experiment and exploration of designing a life that works for you. Leaning into the uncomfortable growth can be challenging. If you’re navigating your own version of “starting before you’re ready,” this episode offers a real-time example of what it looks like to take a small step. 

Listen in, then visit withkeithandlaura.com and subscribe to the podcast to continue the conversation.
Thanks Everyone.
Talking Out Loud | Getting Started…Again

00:00 - Intro
00:28 - Why Talking Out Loud and why now
01:17 - Feeling stagnant, playing it safe, and fearing new formats
02:26 -Struggling to start and wanting to be further along
03:46 - Keith’s love of music and the impact of Glen Hansard
04:15 - Processing loss and the nudge to use time well
05:14 - Inviting listeners to explore Glen Hansard’s work
05:55 - Shifting from maintaining to moving forward with projects
07:20 - Taking a small leap and aiming for consistent reps
08:22 - The origin story of “Talking Out Loud”
09:22 - Closing

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Keith and Laura share their unexpected joy in following the World Cup, especially the way international fans are experiencing everyday American life with genuine delight. Small, shared moments remind us that happiness often shows up in ordinary places.

Tattoos, Balance, and Unapologetic JoyKeith shares the story of finally finishing a full-leg tattoo that had been waiting for thirteen years. The session is more than ink; it’s a creative, almost therapeutic way for him to express who he is and bring long-unfinished art to completion. He talks about imagery that grounds and guides him, including a lighthouse and a bouquet of tulips that represent their family. Finishing this tattoo lights him up and becomes a vivid example of unapologetically making space for “me-time” activities—especially when life, schedules, and responsibilities have pushed them aside.

Travel, Gardening, and Scaled-Down JoyLaura reflects on what lights her up: music, travel, and even tending her garden. She’s honest about physical limitations and the grief of not keeping up with her beds the way she used to. Yet pulling tall weeds to reach ripening raspberries becomes a small but meaningful win. It shows how joy can be scaled to what’s possible right now, whether that’s a future trip she chooses for herself or a modest gardening session that reconnects her with what she loves.

Designing Rhythms That Serve YouTogether, Laura and Keith explore rest, clarity, and cadence—how some joys arrive every week, and others every four or thirteen years. The invitation is simple: get clear on what sparks joy, give yourself permission, and design rhythms that make room for it in real life.

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Designing Life with Simple Joys

00:00 - Intro
 01:12 - World Cup and “joy scrolling”
 06:34 - Keith’s long-delayed tattoo
 15:56 - Laura’s support and Keith feeling lit up
 16:21 - What lights Laura up?
 20:22 - Making room for joy in everyday life
 23:11 - Agency, boundaries, and communicating your plans
 26:21 - Getting specific instead of doing more
 27:01 - Rest, nothingness, and clarity
 28:09 - making time for what sparks joy
 28:52 - Bringing it back to tempo and connection
 29:15 - Outro and appreciation

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The show notes were created with assistance from Perplexity AI, which helped generate and organize key points based on the podcast transcript.

What happens when two people move through life at different speeds? Keith and Laura explore how tempo shows up in everyday moments: summer vacations, road trips, parties, and even podcast production, and how learning to talk openly about pace has changed their relationship for the better.

From Urgency to AwarenessKeith shares how years of working wired him to treat summer as “project season,” making rest feel uncomfortable and vacations surprisingly hard. He notices that his action often depends on rising urgency, which can tip into anxiety or shutdown when too much stacks up at once. Whether it’s getting to events early, racing through road trips with minimal stops, or powering through party prep, he recognizes a pattern of hyper‑vigilant pacing. Over time, Keith has begun to name these tendencies, question when urgency really serves him, and take responsibility for self‑regulating instead of expecting Laura to slow him down.

Seasons, Comparison, and GraceLaura describes her long‑held identity as “type A” with multiple projects always in motion and a tendency to save tasks until just before a gathering, then sprint through frosting cakes and cleaning bathrooms. She brings in running and music metaphors to show how forcing yourself to match another’s pace—whether a partner or a social media ideal—can lead to burnout and misplaced priorities. By embracing the idea of seasons and musical changes in tempo, she is learning to honor slower periods, examine why she feels urgent, and offer more grace to herself and Keith.

Setting a Shared Pace for Your Best LifeTogether, Keith and Laura highlight that healthy tempo in relationships is less about matching speeds and more about honest communication, negotiated expectations, and respecting each person’s rhythm. When we pause to reflect, talk about what our pace is serving, and adjust with intention, we create space to live our best lives without compromising who we are or what we value. 
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Living in Rhythm | Navigating Different Tempos & Pace

00:00 - Intro00:38 - Summer rhythms05:08 - Is pace personality? 13:45 - Work vs vacation17:14 - Urgency, pacing, and “what is this in service of?”20:03 - relationship rhythm21:02 - Expectations22:26 -“dad energy”23:02 - clear communication24:00 - negotiation and practical tradeoffs25:18 - nesting instinct26:59 - bears, burnout, and training partners28:33 - Orchestra metaphor29:17 - Letting someone down31:02 - mom life and realistic choices32:04 - negotiating pace34:23 - what’s required and communicating36:18 - Pulling quote card37:25 - Outro
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To explore more conversations like this, visit our website and subscribe to the podcast.