I live in a place which is abundant with wildlife and I mean that in the traditional sense: wild animals, animals that live in the wild, you get the idea. And they’re not just in the woods that surround us; they’re right here in my yard.

And here in my neighbour’s tree.

On top of that there are crows, eagles that hunt nearby and sealions who, trying to escape from whales, hoist themselves up onto local docks and barges and bark all night like mad dogs. Fluffy bunnies who are too fast to be photographed.

And then there are those I don’t have pictures or video of, the ones that come quietly under cover of darkness and leave proof of their presence through the homes they construct, and the damage they do.

Perhaps you have similar issues where you live.

Which brings me to the reason for this lengthy National Geographic introduction. Some days ago I noticed the check engine light on in my car so I took it to the mechanics who diagnosed an error with the fuel door release latch. But, because they’re not a Ford dealer they didn’t have access to the sophisticated diagnostic programs that would allow for a fuller exploration. The hope was it was just a fuse and the local Ford establishment could sort it all out.

Three hours of overstaying my welcome at a nearby coffee shop, then hanging with the sales guys on the Ford sales floor (which was hosting a vintage Chev, for some reason), the mechanic emerged to tell me they had isolated the problem and it was rodent damage. Here’s a photo:

They assured me the local insurance adjustor was more than glancingly familiar with rodent damage to vehicles and asked me to file a claim before proceeding with what could be a major piece of work. If the wiring harness was a short one that could be replaced, so much the better BUT if it was part of a long one that wrapped around the engine, they might have to take the engine out! Can you imagine that much work for such a stupid bit of damage?

In any event, I call this morning to make a claim and am asked a series of questions to ascertain my identity, the specifics of my vehicle and the nature of the damage. I tell the phone support guy that it was rodent damage as identified by the mechanics, and that it had affected the fuel door latch. Here’s how the conversation went after that:

He: What time did the damage occur?

Me: I have no idea! Mice or rats, remember?

He: When did you notice the damage?

Me: When the check engine light came on.

He: When exactly was that?

Me: Let’s say it was two weeks ago, January 14.

He: What time?

Me: OMG, I don’t know, let’s say noon!

He: Do you have any dashcam evidence or eyewitnesses?

Me: Rodents, remember?

He: Were you injured?

Me: OMG, no.

He: Is the vehicle driveable?

Me: Have you been listening?

Eventually, and grudgingly, he gave me a claim number after reminding me several times that if the damage doesn’t exceed the deductible I will simply pay for the repair out of pocket. Right, because removing the engine will be cheap and easy!

Up until now my main wildlife complaint has been bears defecating on the driveway.

And deer chomping on all my plants. The local nurseries advise that there is no longer such a thing as a deer-resistant plant. Turns out they are evolving to eat almost everything and what they don’t eat they trample in their rush to the salad bar.

As an homage to all the creatures living amongst us, here are the Drifters, from the Under the Boardwalk album, with Rat Race.

Until next time, check under the hood for new condo developments.

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