I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. I believe in spring cleaning my entire personality.

Starting with my house. If I could build the perfect house, I would never leave. It would be beautiful and comfortable, yes, but also slightly unhinged. Absolutely no empty white walls or floor-to-ceiling windows.

This house would have obnoxious wallpaper in every room, and dark, moody bathrooms that feel like showering in a mine, a hundred or so bookcases to house a thousand tiny knick-knacks. Outside, an overgrown pollinator garden in the front yard, and somewhere—importantly—at least one stained-glass window.

It would be small and somewhat remote, with a long driveway leading up to it. The kind of driveway you need high beams for at night. The kind of house that makes you think of that Beatles song—

The long and winding roadThat leads to your door…

Or, depending on your pop culture preferences, the kind of place your loved ones would simply call the cottage.

Regardless of the reality, this dream house has found a way to seep into every place I’ve lived, across every tax bracket I’ve passed through. And it probably will continue to do so until I finally find it… or download my brain into a simulated version of it, whichever comes first.

yes, we’re going to talk about interior design

At the start of spring, when the grey winters are replaced by warmth and color, I find myself experiencing a strong desire, to somehow mimic this transition. When I first moved to the US I became aware of the term “spring cleaning” - a period in between March and April when people are consumed by a growing urge to deep clean their whole lives. I have never bought into a trend so fast.

Since then, every Spring I spend multiple weekends, donating old clothes, sweeping cobwebs from the hard-to-reach place behind the fridge, reorganizing the kitchen pantry to the complete befuddlement of my partner, and, of course, redecorating every square inch available to me. And like everyone with an internet connection, I have come to develop my own opinions about how this should be done. Strong opinions. So, if you too are itching to change up your space, or wondering where to start, here’s what I’ve found makes the most difference for me -

* Clean sporadically but consistently. The worst thing about a planned weekend of cleaning is having to do it all at once. It’s way too overwhelming and feels like it will never end, so it’s impossible to start. I realized that game-ifying cleaning, by randomly setting a timer for an hour every day or every other day, and tackling one space at a time, is much more pleasurable and achievable.

* Marie Kondo a few things. She was onto something. You cannot bring in new things without making space and you cannot make space if you don’t throw away that birthday card from 2012 with the questionable-looking blob (what cake is green?)

* Think about the smells. Every house has a distinct scent. You may have noticed when you come back home after a trip, the scent of your own house is noticeable. That’s the unique scent of your house - over time your nose is desensitized and you stop noticing it, but your guests still do. So, be intentional about what that scent is going to be. Mine is currently a mix of dhoop, kombucha and lavendar.

* Art. Bigger and more than you think you need. You don’t need to commission an artist. There are so many cheap and original digital prints online. Also, everything is art. A dried flower in a frame, your jewelry on display, backpacks on hooks, a kitchen towel with an interesting print… stick it on the wall and it counts.

* For the love of God, bring in some color. Your house should reflect the life that lives in it. So stop living in black and white cinema and get one thing that has a primary color in it. It doesn’t have to be a whole painted wall, but a pillow? A piece of art?

* Hang art in your bathroom. Why not?

* Invest in comfortable, durable furniture that can be easily cleaned. And then clean them. I literally live on my couch. I eat on it, work on it, nap on it, and occasionally use it for its intended purpose. And if I drop some haldi-laden dal on it, I have a darn good stain remover and a few chemistry tricks up my sleeve.

* Buy frustration-free cleaning products. If you’re arguing everyday about who should be doing the vacuuming, splurge on that roomba and automate the routine. It’s worth the hairs you don’t pull out.

* Stop being precious about your stuff. It’s just stuff. As someone whose personal design style is “knick-knacks,” my house can feel like one of those antique gift shops with the “you break it, you buy it” signs. But when you walk in, you’re encouraged to throw your coat on a chair, your bag on the table, and fully commit to the couch. And if that doesn’t convince you that I don’t care about my stuff, give it a minute—I’ll inevitably walk into the bookshelf and send a porcelain vase to its untimely demise.

* Buy flowers. Always real, never fake. Stop waiting around for special occasions to be gifted a flower bouquet. Use your freewill and adult money to buy yourself flowers. NOW. It immediately brightens your mood and your space. They don’t have to be fancy - I often buy the filler flowers at the grocery store. They’re cheap, colorful and fresh. On that note, stop buying fake flowers because they “last a long time”. The point of flowers is that they’re transient. They bloom, spread joy, and when they’re done, you can replace them with more flowers. Fake flowers are basically dust-mite collectors, and yet another thing to clean. Don’t like the idea of flowers? Buy a plant. I have a ZZ plant that survived 3 months of neglect without a drop of water during COVID, and is STILL THRIVING. You do not need a green thumb.

* Exhibit your personality. The craziest thing I’ve seen on the internet lately is this trend of organizing your books with the spine facing inside so they all match …

* But instead of trying (and inevitably failing) to hide the unsightly things, maybe try to embrace it? My partner is very fond of video games, and that stark white PS5 is very much, not the vibe. But this is his house too, so we made him a display cabinet, with fancy spot lighting - his very own video game altar.

* Invest in decor that doubles as conversation starters. Example, an unopened bottle of coke from 1996 displayed on our bar cabinet. Everyone that walks past it asks us about it and we invariably end up in a long-winded conversation about what is the best Coke - it’s Coke zero.

* Lastly, TURN OFF THAT OVERHEAD LIGHT. It immediately takes your home from comfortable to hospital. Buy about a dozen lamps, with varying heights and vibes and throw in a soft-white LED light in there. If it’s hard to see, that is exactly the point. Your eyes will adjust. Your brain works during the day when there’s sunlight and needs to turn off at night. No wonder your circadian rhythm is all over the place with lights as bright as the sun.

proof that we live here

All of this to say, my dream house is really just a house that reflects us—the humans that live in it. So when you come over and see the quilted throw pillow made from old sarees, the unopened bottle of Coke from 1996, the assortment of Pokémon plushies and strategy board games, the record collection that jumps from The Beatles to Miley Cyrus, the artwork inspired by synaptic networks, and the hand-painted gouache flowers climbing up the bathroom walls—you’ll know it could only belong to two nerdy, Coca Cola-obsessed, Indian scientists with a curious taste in music and a penchant for flower-themed art in the poop room.

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