Episode 212

Released May 29, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Sharon Melnick reveals the critical difference between being "in power" (having a position) versus being "in your power" (having personal agency). Drawing from her 10 years of research at Harvard Medical School and extensive coaching experience, she provides practical strategies for leaders to manage stress, prevent burnout, and maintain peak performance.

Key Topics Covered The Three Pillars of Being "In Your Power"

1. Agency - Having options and the ability to influence your situation
2. Sovereignty - Maintaining your intended mental, emotional, and physical state
3. Self-Efficacy - Seeing real impact from your actions

The Two Modes of Your Nervous System

• "On" Button (Sympathetic) - Focus and problem-solving energy
• "Off" Button (Parasympathetic) - Calm and replenishment mode
• Why balancing both is crucial for optimal leadership performance

The Real Cause of Burnout

Surprising Finding: McKinsey research shows workload wasn't even in the top 5 predictors of burnout - it ranked #7. The #1 predictor of workplace wellbeing is self-efficacy (being in your power).

Key Insight: Burnout doesn't come from having too much to do - it comes from having too little power.

Practical Tools & Techniques Immediate Stress Management Techniques 1. Cooling Breath Technique

• Open mouth slightly
• Breathe in through mouth (like sipping through a straw)
• Exhale through nose
• Creates cooling sensation on tongue
• Activates frontal lobe thinking and calms both you and others

2. Extended Exhale Breathing

• Inhale for count of 3, exhale for count of 6
• Or inhale for 4, exhale for 8
• Activates the "off" button of your nervous system

3. Left Nostril Breathing (for 2am wake-ups)

• Cover right nostril
• Breathe exclusively through left nostril for 3 minutes
• Activates vagus nerve for instant relaxation

The Reframe Question

When facing overwhelming situations, ask: "How might this situation be happening FOR you, not TO you?"

Real-World Case Study

Dr. Melnick shared a powerful example of a division head whose CEO redistributed his global responsibilities without consultation. Initially heading toward burnout and considering leaving, one reframing question helped him see the opportunity to:

• Use in-country managers as pilots for new initiatives
• Scale successful programs globally
• Focus his global team on more strategic work

Result: He stayed, thrived, and now leads transformational change.

About Dr. Sharon Melnick

• Psychologist with 10 years of research at Harvard Medical School
• Specializes in intergenerational trauma and power dynamics
• Author of two books: "In Your Power" and "Success Under Stress"
• Executive coach focusing on leadership under pressure

Resources Mentioned Books by Dr. Sharon Melnick

• "In Your Power: React Less, Regain Control, Raise Others" - Focus on leadership and preventing burnout
• "Success Under Stress" - Focus on managing the on/off nervous system balance

Recommendation: Start with "In Your Power" for current times and leadership challenges.

Free Resource

Burnout-Proof Leadership Checklist Available at: www.sharonmelnick.com/burnoutproof

Connect with Dr. Sharon Melnick

• Website: SharonMelnick.com
• LinkedIn: Dr. Sharon Melnick

Key Takeaways

1. Distinguish between position power and personal power - True leadership comes from being "in your power"

2. Balance your nervous system - Optimal performance requires oscillating between "on" and "off" modes

3. Reframe challenges as opportunities - Ask how situations might be happening FOR you, not TO you

4. Use practical techniques in the moment - Breathing exercises can shift your state in under 3 minutes

5. Address the root cause of burnout - Focus on increasing sense of control and impact, not just reducing workload

6. Remember: When a leader is in their power, they raise everyone around them

Next Steps for Listeners

1. Download the Burnout-Proof Leadership Checklist
2. Practice the breathing techniques during your next stressful moment
3. Read "In Your Power" for comprehensive strategies
4. Ask yourself the reframe question during challenging situations
5. Focus on building your team's sense of self-efficacy alongside your own

This episode of The Executive Edge provides practical skills you can apply immediately to achieve and maintain success while supporting your team's wellbeing and performance.