How We Raise Boys to Become Bad PartnersWe often talk about men who disrespect, control, or mistreat women—but we don’t talk enough about where some of these attitudes begin.
In many families and cultures, boys and girls grow up under completely different rules. Boys are encouraged to explore, date, make mistakes, take risks, and experience the world. Their behavior is often excused as “boys being boys.” Meanwhile, girls may be taught that their choices reflect their family’s reputation, that their sexuality must be controlled, and that being a “good woman” means restricting themselves in ways that are never expected of their brothers.
Then we expect these boys to grow up and suddenly know how to build an equal, respectful relationship with a woman.
In this episode, I talk about how double standards can teach boys entitlement while teaching girls accommodation—and how those lessons can follow both of them into adult relationships. I also explore the role women can play in perpetuating the same system, especially when mothers excuse behavior in their sons that they would condemn in their daughters, or later expect their daughters-in-law to tolerate it.
If we want healthier relationships between men and women, we have to look at what we teach children about gender, freedom, accountability, respect, and love long before they ever become someone’s partner.