In this episode of White Women Wake Up, Karen and Jonelle examine social identity theory—the idea that our self-esteem is often tied to group membership, which leads us to view our “in-group” as good and “outsiders” as bad. Using recent violent events as a lens, they explore why some tragedies spark widespread outcry while others are met with silence. From media coverage that overrepresents white victims to the empathy gap revealed in psychological studies, the conversation reveals how deeply ingrained biases influence whose pain we recognize and whose suffering we overlook. Karen and Jonelle also reflect on their own experiences, including family disagreements and generational patterns, to show how social identity impacts even our most personal relationships. This episode challenges listeners to pause, notice their instinctive reactions, and ask: Would I respond the same way if this were happening to someone outside my circle?

Calls to Action

• Reflect on your own “in-group” reactions—who gets your empathy first and why?
• Start conversations in your circles about whose stories receive attention and whose are ignored.
• Interrupt bias by amplifying stories that the mainstream media often overlooks.

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