Welcome to Interesting If True, the podcast that harnesses the power of the atom to blast the sweet sound of our sultry voices into your ear-holes!

I'm your host this week, Aaron, and with me is Shea:

I'm Shea, and this week I learned that crabs and lobsters are the same thing, one is just folded hamburger style while the other is folded hot dog style.

Solving Problems & Adding Value

This week’s story is a bit of an odd duck.

First I have to introduce an entire world of nonsense. Namely that 5G wireless signals can infect you with Covid-19. Yes, those words in that order.

Because solving a problem is adding value—even if the problem is made up and the solutions don’t matter.

People who don’t understand how radio waves work have been flipping out about all the G’s since telecoms started using that branding. Indeed 5G conspiracies abound because the internet has given the stupid a voice and the credulous something to do in lockdown.

Of course there are plenty of 3, 4, and 5G conspiracies that don’t involve impossibly stupid… also normal impossible… contagion-generation radio waves. But where’s the fun in that?

How stupid is thinking 5G can give you Covid? Real stupid. Like, overlapping with Flat Earthers and Anti-vaxxers stupid. More on that infectious venn diagram later. And in case you’re tempted to remind me that ignorance is curable and these people aren’t “stupid” or “dangerously gullable” for holding outlandishly impossible beliefes, I’ll preimptively remind you that this isn’t Be Reasonable.

So to break this conspiracy theory down we’re going to have to establish two branches. One where the radio waves 5G gives off spontaneously-generate the Sars-Cov-2 virus in your body a la a Star Trek replicator (but also not at all like that), and another where Covid-19 is a hoax and those feeling its effects are actually succumbing to radiation poisoning from 5G towers and base stations capable of broadcasting it.

Either way, it’s about population control man… like… because of Monsanto—who also figures into this conspiracy theory… somehow. You can Google that one on your own. Spoiler alert: it’s because Qanon is all conspiracy theories.

The latter is what we’ll focus on because… radiation doesn’t spontaneously create complex viral diseases… because that’s real dumb. Proponents of this also think all the other G’s give you cancer or the gay, even LTE will cause chronic health problems. So turn that off too and enjoy your new Apple iBrick I guess.

Or as Keri Hilson (is this a famous person? Who knows, I’m not clicking on them) tweets:

Still not convinced, well here’s Tiffani Cyr with a for real truth bomb:

Sadly, if you want citations for those claims your gonna have to go fuck yourself.

Where did this theory come from and is it true? Well I’m not doing that search but

NBC2 News did, so here’s that:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kT7DNPN_34

Well said Amanda Skrzypchak, well said.

Of course, just because radio waves can’t poof virus’ into you, doesn’t mean that the government can’t use radio waves to poof virus’ into you. As English twitter account owner Jewel will explain. Because we’re an audio medium I’ll just put up screen captures of two design elements that are from Covid-Devil...