Today we attempt to discuss Castle Bran and the Loch Ness Monster, two Scottish legends that absolutely did not consent to this episode. But before we get anywhere near ancient stone walls or mysterious lake creatures, Courtney commits a culinary crime/genius move by making a sushi sandwich, and Lauren’s stomach begins eating itself from the inside out because she has once again forgotten to consume food like a functioning human.

Because these stories are not American (and even if they were, let’s be honest), we spend a truly impressive amount of time aggressively mispronouncing words. In our defense, we barely speak the one language we do know, so expecting us to handle Scottish names was wildly optimistic.

Midway through the episode, Mischa decides she has opinions and will be sharing them immediately and without warning, derailing the entire operation as intended.

So join us for castles, cryptids, hunger-induced delirium, unsolicited commentary, and an episode that slowly dissolves into nonsense—much like the Loch Ness Monster whenever a camera appears. 🐉