#InternetGrandpa

I have been completely consumed and overwhelmed at work since the beginning of January.

But today, I’m finishing the last of three really consuming projects.It’s a reminder to me of three critical lessons that are really helpful to keep in mind when life gets challenging.

First,“this too shall pass.” Everything eventually ends and at that point you can catch up on sleep, relax, and so on, but the memory of what kind of job you did will always be with you.

Second, to live is to work, and if we can learn to find meaning in that we will be so much happier.

Last of all, work will always be a challenge because they don’t pay you to do things that are fun and easy. You only get paid to do things that are unpleasant or challenging or require unique, skills.

The trick is to make sure you are willing to accept the trade-offs cost and benefits.

Sending you all my love,

Your #InternetGrandpa

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I was asked twice recently to post some thoughts about relationships, both for those not in a relationship who would like to become in those who are in a relationship, but don’t feel it is working out.I don’t pretend to be an expert, but there are basic foundational understandings that used to be just woven into the culture.And, after 33 years of marriage, I have learned a few things myself, and been around others who have had long-term relationships as well. I’m going to do my best to share these principles that I believe have helped me and many others.I’ll probably do a whole bunch of these little snippets.I am struck by the fact that the fundamental mindset and skills and understandings that allow relationships to thrive used to be baked into culture in a way it no longer seems to be.So I think one of the first steps is being around people who have what you want and tuning out those who don’t have what you want.Also, it’s easy to look in the past and see where things weren’t good, and where there needed to be changes. But often these problems can be changed, improved, and tweaked: they don’t have to just be thrown out.Good relationships are such a big key to happiness and I want you to be happy! So much love,Your #InternetGrandpa

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bradenbell.substack.com

If you really want to be empowered and happy, try replacing the words “I have to../“ with “I choose to..” or “ I’m investing in…”I often catch myself, saying, “I have to do such and such,” when there’s a task that I don’t really like or want to do.But the reality is that most of these things are actually just natural results of what I have already chosen to do.Often they are investments in something greater even if they are not common themselves things I like.So instead of saying, “I have to do this.” I tried to say “I have chosen to do this.” Or, “this is an investment that I’m making for some greater good.“

This will help you feel empowered and self-actualized, and that will make you happy.

And I do so want you to be happy!All my love,

Your #InternetGrandpa

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bradenbell.substack.com

Sometimes we have problems that are really big and are difficult and hard.

But other times, the problems that seem huge may end up not being quite as big as we feared, and the solutions may be easier than we anticipated.

It’s just good to remember that and hold out the possibility that maybe it won’t be quite as hard or difficult or bad as we think it is going to be.

I had a mentor who always used to say, “Give things a chance to be okay.” Turns out, this is often true.

And even when it’s not, worrying and stressing didn’t help do anything productive.

All my love,

Your #InternetGrandpaYour

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bradenbell.substack.com

It’s pretty common for us to feel stuck sometimes. Nothing seems to work. Nothing seems to be going well and not only does it seem like it’s not going well it almost seems like things are working against us.Often when this happens to me it feels like this happens across the board in nearly every area of my life.But I have discovered something that works every single time. It’s almost miraculous. The thing I’ve learned is that once we take an action, however, small, of any kind it creates literal power in our lives.That creates momentum that helps us and either helps us to change our circumstances for seems to create the energy that makes things unfold and happen for us in good ways.One small action, a choice and then a little effort it’s all it authentic takes to start a powerful chain reaction.However, the effect is often disproportionate but so is the initial effort when we are stuck it really is hard to take even small steps, and so we have to push through inertia, but once I do that, I’m always glad in the result is always helpful, but sometimes miraculous.All my love,Your #InternetGrandpa

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bradenbell.substack.com

Sometimes life seems to be an utter disaster. It may seem to be falling apart, or it may seem to be such a mess that there’s no room to fall apart because we haven’t gotten anywhere.Let me tell you why I think you don’t need to worry.When things don’t go well look and see if you have good bones so to speak.Are the fundamentals in place? If so, then you just need to be patient and keep going.If not, work on the fundamentals and get them in place and eventually, with time and practice, everything else will follow.All my love,Your

Your #InternetGrandpa

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bradenbell.substack.com

We can feel overwhelmed by our circumstances. Often, however, the things we experience may be the inevitable trade-offs and results of choices we’ve made

When we can see our ourselves as an actor—someone who makes choices and then understands the outcomes of those choices, good or bad, we empower ourselves to be better at coping with challenges. And, where necessary, we can see how to make different choices.While, none of us have complete control over our lives, seeing ourselves as agents and actors, who make choices and act, as opposed to objects who are acted upon, is a huge key to happiness.And I want you to be happy!All my love, Your #InternetGrandpa

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bradenbell.substack.com

YOU are lovable! You are worthy of being loved!

You are an incredible being of great light and beauty and, I promise you, YOU are loved!

If you don’t feel that here’s something I learned from my own experience that will help. In the meantime I am sending you so much love! Sincerely. #InternetGrandpa

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bradenbell.substack.com

We all want our lives to be smooth, perhaps having some occasional bumps along the way.

The reality is that it’s generally going to be the opposite-but that doesn’t mean life is bad or that we need to be unahppy.

We can lament and mourn and rage against that fact, or we can learn to deal with it.

When the ocean's too choppy to swim we can learn to surf!

The struggle is the way and this too shall pass. This will help you to be happy in life and I want you to be happy!

So much love, #InternetGrandpa

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bradenbell.substack.com

When we react and allow our interactions to be based on another person’s actions, we lose power over our lives.

And, often, in doing this, we give power to the people who are the worst people to make decisions for us.

You get to choose who you are in every interaction. So, set your boundaries — but set them from your aspirations and values, not your anger or frustrations. This is a huge key to being happy and self-actualized, and I want you to be happy! So much love, #YourInternetGrandpa

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bradenbell.substack.com