22: “Intrigue at the Indy 500”

Synopsis: “Eric Raymond panics when he finds out that Starlight Music is sponsoring the world’s best driver for the Indy 500, Martino Grandzetti. The gamblers he’s dealing with will take their displeasure out on him if their driver doesn’t win the race.”

Summary: Episode 22, is written by Roger Slifer, who famously went on to co-create the character Lobo for DC Comics and tragically died earlier this year.

We open with Pizzazz throwing darts at a headshot of Eric Raymond.

Pizzazz: I. Want. To. Go (throws darts).

Roxy: You missed the bullseye (speaking with mouth full of food).

Pizzazz: I’m sick of looking at his ugly mug anyway.

Pizzazz reaches towards a carton of eggs, grabs an egg, and hurls it across the room. Instead of hitting the bullseye, the door opens at the least opportune moment and the egg collides with Eric’s face.

Eric: Pizzazz!

Pizzazz: Stormer says you’re going to a big party tonight for all the race car drivers, but that we’re not going.

Eric: That’s right, Pizazz, it’s by invitation only. And you’re not invited.

Eric tells the Misfits that he has some important negotiations to conclude, and that he can’t afford any distractions. The Misfits remind Eric that he promised the band would perform at the Indy 500 victory celebration. Eric reassures them they will, but he has to do things his way. Pizzazz insists on going to the party.

We cut to a private dinner meeting where Eric is being introduced to a rather burly man, named Vice. Vice is a handyman who cleans up when things, or people, get sloppy. Martin Grandzetti–the world’s greatest race car driver–is the primary concern as he never loses a race. It turns out that Eric has bribed Grandzetti’s sponsor to pull out from the race. Eric has entered his own driver into the race, with a specially modified non-regulation engine to give him an edge. Receiving an undisclosed large sum of money, Eric places a bet on car 007, expecting that he’ll be able to collect the winnings since he has rigged the race. A man in a terrible yellow suite drops Eric’s table to pick up the briefcase (who clearly seems to be voiced by Charlie Adler).

Shortly after Eric’s nefarious transaction takes place, an announcer notifies the entire dining hall that Grandzetti’s sponsor has unfortunately dropped out, however, Starlight Music has generously offered to take its place. This is a setback that Eric certainly did not expect. I suppose we are to assume that Starlight Music is in a financially comfortable area at this point in Jem and the Holograms’ career.

When the announcement is made, music cues and a giant star shaped stage dramatically descends.

Cut to Jem and the Holograms music video: “I’m Coming From Behind”.

Outside the auto club, the Misfits try to figure out a way to get inside. Pizzazz decides suggests they steal the Rockin’ Roadster and crash it, right into the club.

Inside the club, Grandzetti thanks Jem, Holograms, and Jerrica for their support, as without them, he wouldn’t be racing in the Indy 500. When Grandzetti asks where Jerrica is–she earlier told him she would be there, Jem says Jerrica must be around somewhere. As Jem and Grandzetti are talking, the Misfits crash through the front doors of the club in the Rockin’ Roadster (did Jem leave the keys in the car, or do the Misfits know how to hot wire a car?). The Misfits take the Roadster for a joy ride, colliding into tables and nearly hitting a few patrons.

Pizzazz: That will teach you not to invite the Misfits to your party!

Grandzetti quickly reacts, jumps into one of the cars propped onto a stage, stars the engine, and races after the Misfits. Whilst all of this is happening, my question is: how large is this club? At the speed that it looks like they’re going, it seems like the chase lasts for an…