In this episode we discuss whether commitment is where sex goes to die. Do long term relationships and marriage kill your sex life? We bring in some research from the experts, as well as some of the top tips and tricks to reignite the spark.

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SHOWNOTES

12% of all married people haven’t had sex for at least three months.

http://relationshipsinamerica.com/relationships-and-sex/how-common-are-sexually-inactive-marriages

-Twenty-four percent of respondents said they had sex four or more times a week before marriage, but only 9 percent have sex so frequently after marriage.

-factors like incompatible work and travel schedules, caring for kids, professional stress and general fatigue all play into married couples' eventually cooling off in the bedroom.

https://www.theknot.com/content/married-couples-have-less-sex-study

The research shows that while the frequency of sex decreases into marriage, relationship satisfaction goes up.

https://mycounselor.online/womens-sex-drive-declines-marriage/#references

strong link between a good sex life and a happy overall relationship: Sexual satisfaction contributes to relationship satisfaction

good sex can even offset the negative effects of communication problems in relationships.

having less sex than you wish you were having can make your relationship less stable and increase the likelihood of a breakup

Lower sexual desire can sometimes be related to larger relationship issues.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16123841/

Many people experience a concept known as spontaneous desire, where they randomly find themselves in the mood to have sex before any physical arousal or stimulation has even taken place. But for other people, sexual desire only comes along after physical arousal has kicked in. This is known as responsive desire. People with responsive desire feel like having sex only once they're physically aroused.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18673/8-truths-about-sex-in-longterm-relationships.html

A 2018 study found those narratives about "passion decay" in long-term relationships actually became self-fulfilling prophecies: that is, people who believed passion would decline in their relationships over time really did experience lower commitment levels.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18673/8-truths-about-sex-in-longterm-relationships.html

LoveHoney surveyed 2000 US citizens, 3% never talked about sex with their partner, a third of 18- to 24-year-olds who said they communicate just once or twice a year. 40% weekly, 29% monthly.

https://www.lovehoney.com/blog/how-good-are-we-communicating-desires.html