Do we as parents embrace our teen's adolescent years? Do we control them? Do we tolerate them? None of the above. When your child enters her teenage years, the best you can do is endure them. Moods? Attitude? Disrespect? Challenges? All of the above. A German psychologist talked about the "sturm ung drang" of adolescence, the "storm and stress." If you use heavy-handed parenting, your teen will either comply or rebel further, both responses at the expense of healthy relationship. Instead, appeal to their better side with observation. "Wow! This isn't like you, Ben. What else is going on here?" If Ben doesn't answer the essay question, make it multiple choice. You know your teen well enough that you'll likely hit on something bugging him. Then follow with active listening to help lower his emotional fever. Yep. That is your teen. Endure the journey.