A lot of soccer-related things have happened in the last few days.

Arsenal won the English Premier League title.

Paris Saint-Germain beat Arsenal for the Champions League Cup.

And then, of course, coming up this summer, the FIFA World Cup comes to Canada, the US, and Mexico.

You might be wondering, why is she talking about all of these soccer things? Well, I used to be one of those people who didn’t understand the pull of the sport, but then I went to Benin…and the day my future husband rode up on his motorcycle with his soccer socks around his neck, everything changed.

The First Date

It was either Christmas Day or the day before Christmas in 2007. At CPN les Papillons, the organization I worked with during Peace Corps, we had been doing a Christmas drive, giving out clothes to kids in the village. D’Aquin rode up on his motorcycle, soccer socks around his neck, and said, “Hey, you want to come watch me play soccer sometime?”

I said sure, he was cute, and what else did I really have to do on a Sunday afternoon?

My experience with soccer up to that point was watching my sister play recreational games as a kid. I had never wanted to play myself, too much running. (This is funny to me now, because even though it has been a bit, I enjoy running longer distances these days!) I thought, here is this guy asking me to come watch him play. Let’s go and see what this game is really all about.

He picked me up a couple of days later on his moto, and off we were to the soccer field behind the Sokpunta high school. I stood on the sidelines with everyone else, and as it turned out, he was pretty amazing at the game (still is!). He had been playing for a long time and was regularly asked by different village teams to come play with them because of his skill. That was my introduction to football, because from that day forward, I would call it football, which is what the rest of the world calls it. (Unless I’m around a lot of people who are used to talking about American football, it's just easier to avoid confusion!)

Not long after, D’Aquin took me to watch the African Cup at an elder’s house in the village who had a television. Flat screen TVs were not as common then. No Wi-Fi. No iPhones. We sat on wooden benches in a small room packed with people, and we watched football.

I was the only woman in that room, mainly because of who I was in the village and because D’Aquin had brought me. (I remember my dad questioning whether it was a good idea that I had gone to the game, being the only woman. The things you recollect!) When things went well, people cheered. When things went badly, there was real frustration. I think the team we were rooting for won, which meant shots of sodabi for all at the end!

From that point on, football became part of my life. I became a Chelsea fan, as D’Aquin had been devoted to Chelsea for as long as he could remember. I learned the players’ names. I started to understand the game. And I fell in love with it, just like I fell in love with my husband.

What Football Looks Like in Benin

Watching football is different depending on what league or country you are watching. Premier League football is unlike anything else. The difference between European football and American soccer is enormous. But what I love most about football in Benin is how it belongs to everyone.

You don’t need shin guards or fancy shorts or a water bottle. You don’t need to pay $90 and sign up for a rec league. You just go out and play. Kids as young as three are already out there. They organize themselves. If they have a ball, great. If they don’t, they find something else, an orange, a mango. As long as they can kick it, it works.

(The boys playing in their own game of football while the men play.)

The games in Benin are their own experience entirely. People don’t sit in stands at most village games, they encircle the field. Community members yell at the players throughout the entire game, not just coaches. Friends, family, cousins, neighbors. Everyone has an opinion on how you should be playing. And kids start up their own games on the sidelines. Referees are never hard to find, there are always people who want to officiate. And if a fight breaks out, which sometimes happens, the game can end halfway or three-quarters of the way through. Things usually get resolved afterward, and those who were upset with each other end up getting a beer together. That always makes me laugh.

Going to the games always made me feel like part of the community. I suppose my experience was a little different because my husband was usually one of the players.

When we moved to Fairbanks as newlyweds after Peace Corps, D’Aquin played in a men’s league. The team he ended up playing with had players from Vanuatu, Greece, India, Denmark, Japan, Turkey, Russia, Honduras, Benin, and Fairbanks. It is so simple, you don’t need to speak the same language. All you need is a ball and your feet, and the whole world can play together.

If you ever travel somewhere and have the chance to go to a local football game, I highly recommend it. You learn something about a culture at its sporting events that you can’t learn anywhere else.

The World Cup This Summer

Benin was very close to qualifying for the 2026 World Cup. The system of how they determine who gets complicated, but I know they were closer than they have been in a long time. I am proud of that, even from a distance.

I am excited about the World Cup coming to North America. And I am also a little sad. Tickets to attend a game in Seattle are upward of a thousand dollars, and that is if you are even invited to purchase one. Visa issues are making it difficult for people from many countries to come and watch. That feels wrong for a sport that belongs to the whole world.

So, like many people around the world, I’ll be watching from home. But I’ll pretend like I’m there!

What Really Happened Last Week

A quieter week in some ways, but things kept moving.

I have continued to nurture the relationships that have been developing over the months, all of which started with me talking about my love and interest in transformative learning theory, tourism, and Benin. I suppose the right word for it is “networking”, but that almost seems too cold a word to use. And yet, I guess I’ll stick with the industry standard until a better word pops up!

I started posting regularly again on LinkedIn, as well as commenting on other posts. I find that I can have pretty incredible conversations, or at least the start of them, right in the comments.

What’s Coming Next

This week is the most call-heavy week I have had in a while, and I honestly didn’t realize how many calls I had until I sat down to make out the schedule.

Tuesday morning, I had two early calls. One with Sonia, a consultant with the Transformative Tourism Council who just finished guiding a pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago in Spain. It was my first time meeting her, and I tell you, it is so wonderful to find people you can talk to about things you are genuinely passionate about. A few hours later, I had a second call with Dr. Suzy Ross. Dr. Ross has done research specifically on the integration part of transformative learning, what happens when you return home and try to weave your experiences back into your regular life. That piece is the most critical and the most overlooked, and I never get tired of talking about it with someone who has studied it as closely as she has.

Thursday afternoon is the first-ever Hello West Africa advisor meeting.

I have been putting together a small agenda, pulling together the threads of where the business is and where it needs to go, and I am so curious to see what comes out of getting everyone in the same virtual room together. These are people who believe in Hello West Africa (and me!) and bring very different perspectives to the table. I will absolutely report back next week.

The Learning Lens also goes out this week. It’s going to be a busy week at the computer!

What I’m Learning

Things take time to develop. I should know this by now. I tell my kids all the time to be patient and that things take time. And living it continues to teach me in a way that just saying it never could.

It takes time to build relationships. It takes time to grow something real. Being patient enough to let those things happen is hard in a society that equates being busy with moving forward. Most of the time, things will not happen on the timeline you want to follow. Better to let go of that control piece sooner rather than later.

In My Free Time

The weather has been windy today, but this morning was beautiful, and we went to the park. Summer feels like it might actually be on its way, maybe.

It was a nice enough evening, so we went to watch the spectacle of the small town circus that visits once a year. Nothing like the big tops of Barnum and Bailey, but it is a pretty neat thing to go and watch on a Tuesday night!

That is what I have for this week. Stay tuned for the advisor meeting report next week.

And if you have the chance to watch any World Cup games this summer, find a way. Watch it with people who love the sport. You will understand something about the world that is hard to explain any other way. I’ll keep you posted on the best viewing options!

Until next week,

P.S. — Hello West Africa is looking for aligned investors and Founding Supporters. If you want to be part of building this before the doors open, reply to this email and let’s talk.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit debrakouda.substack.com