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It Started Before You Met Them: How Old Wounds Show Up in Love.
When your reaction feels too big for the moment—there’s probably a reason.
In this episode, we’re zooming in on a relationship pattern that so many high-functioning, emotionally intelligent people get stuck in: reacting to your partner like they’re someone from your past. Even when you know they’re not your mom, your ex, or the parent who never saw you clearly… your body responds like they are.
This isn’t just a mindset issue. It’s a nervous system loop.
And until you name the original pattern, you’ll keep following it—even with someone who’s kind, safe, and emotionally available.
In this episode, we’ll break down:- Why your nervous system reacts to micro-triggers like abandonment, even when things seem fine
- How attachment wounds get activated without words—and what that actually feels like in your body
- What it means when you keep replaying the same dynamic, even in a totally different relationship
- The moment of choice before reactivity—and the one question that can interrupt the spiral
- A practical tool (Pause → Track → Name) that helps you move from echo to agency
You’re not too much. You’re responding exactly how your system was wired to protect you.
And now? You get to build a new map.
Resources
- Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.
- Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.
- The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.
- Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.
Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are experiencing significant distress, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or medical provider.
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By Dr. Rachel OrleckWhen your reaction feels too big for the moment—there’s probably a reason.
In this episode, we’re zooming in on a relationship pattern that so many high-functioning, emotionally intelligent people get stuck in: reacting to your partner like they’re someone from your past. Even when you know they’re not your mom, your ex, or the parent who never saw you clearly… your body responds like they are.
This isn’t just a mindset issue. It’s a nervous system loop.
And until you name the original pattern, you’ll keep following it—even with someone who’s kind, safe, and emotionally available.
In this episode, we’ll break down:- Why your nervous system reacts to micro-triggers like abandonment, even when things seem fine
- How attachment wounds get activated without words—and what that actually feels like in your body
- What it means when you keep replaying the same dynamic, even in a totally different relationship
- The moment of choice before reactivity—and the one question that can interrupt the spiral
- A practical tool (Pause → Track → Name) that helps you move from echo to agency
You’re not too much. You’re responding exactly how your system was wired to protect you.
And now? You get to build a new map.
Resources
- Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.
- Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.
- The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.
- Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.
Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are experiencing significant distress, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or medical provider.