Time is confusing. Tits are distracting. Nina is immortal. And it was Carnival season but we're a month behind posting these. Happy Mardi anyway. Miss Universe pageant gets dark! (And not in a racist way...). Turns out the Hitler mustache is not off the table for K.M.  Let's get Closer through J's poetry.  Shout out to Matassa's Market! And Liz Taylor! And Hacksaw Jim Duggan! And please forgive K.M. for complimenting Oprah. He stands by his words but still thinks she is a c*nt.