What happens when life throws you the biggest plot twist imaginable and you’ve no choice but to crack on?

In this raw, funny and beautifully honest episode of It’s Got Pockets, I sit down with the brilliant Gemma Ray, author, speaker, podcast host, mum and kinship foster carer to talk about what happens when “having it all” turns into holding it all together.

Gemma’s story is ever evolving and has all the curve balls.

One moment she’s running a thriving six-figure business. The next, she’s standing in a school reception, unknowingly about to change her entire life.

Within hours, Gemma and her husband were suddenly carers for two young children; a decision that reshaped everything: her business, her marriage, her identity and her belief in what makes a “mum.”

Together, we talk about:
🔥 The myth of Supermum and why we need to stop performing resilience.
🔥 Cracking on vs. cracking open and how to spot the difference.
🔥 Kinship foster care, trauma-informed parenting and the brutal beauty of doing the right thing even when it breaks you open.
🔥 The Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) model that helped Gemma rebuild connection, calm, and self-trust.
🔥 Why “And so f*cking what” might just be the mantra every woman needs in her back pocket.

This is the kind of conversation that reminds you that survival isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom.

It’s about ditching perfection, rebuilding trust in yourself and remembering that you can’t pour from a cup that’s cracked.

Expect laughter, swearing, heart and a whole lot of truth about motherhood, burnout and the reality of leading life on your own terms.

💥 Quote Moments:

• “We crack on, and crack on, until something small makes us crack open.”
• “I thought I could be Supermum. Turns out, I’m human.”
• “Self-trust is the bridge between who I was and who I’m becoming.”
• “And so f*cking what.”

🎧 Listen if you’ve ever felt:

• Tired of holding it all together
• Caught between ambition and exhaustion
• Ready to stop performing perfect and start living honest

And if you’re in in that life stage, where all the curve balls keep on coming without a break and want to be in a room where lived experience counts, where you don’t have to translate yourself and where backing yourself becomes the work, you’ll find your people through FoundHer Fire.

This is It’s Got Pockets. Stories for women with experience who are not done yet.

Now crack on.

Thanks for listening. This episode was sponsored by Birkdale Insurance Group – a people-first business with a powerhouse of talented female board members bucking the male-dominated financial services trend.

Find out more at birkdaleinsurancegroup.co.uk

Sarah is the founder of FoundHer Fire—a membership space for experienced women in business who know real success isn’t just about strategy, it’s about self; a place, a space, a community where women find their fire, for women who aren't done yet and who are ready to write their own rules of success. Sarah also co-founded The Plot Twist (un)Awards, celebrating female founders and women smashing through glass ceilings with purpose, passion and joy.

Find out more about me and how I can work with you:

• On LinkedIn
• On Instagram
• On the Web
• Or drop me an email [email protected]

Why your zigzags were never a problem...

Your career doesn’t look like a neat ladder.
It looks more like a patchwork map.
Different roles. Different sectors. Breaks. Detours. Chapters you didn’t plan and moments you just cracked on through.

This episode is for women who have lived a bit and are done apologising for it.

In this solo episode, I unpack something it took me far too long to own. Having a layered career, multiple specialisms, and a zigzag path is not a lack of focus. It’s range. Depth. Leadership in the making.

I share my own breadcrumb trail, from PR and marketing to leadership, coaching and culture work. From redundancy while pregnant to entrepreneurship before I felt ready. From chasing titles to realising the work I was meant to do had been quietly following me all along.

This is a real career story. Lived, not polished.

What we get into

• Why careers make sense backwards, not forwards, and why curiosity beats self criticism.
• How the parts you thought were messy were building cognitive flexibility, adaptability and leadership capacity.
• Why even the most “linear” CVs hide zigzags, mat leave, caring responsibilities, burnout, restructures, grief and quiet identity shifts.
• Why your path does not need to be tidy to be valuable. It needs to be yours. And you need to own it.

The behavioural science underneath it...
I weave in why lived experience matters. Cognitive flexibility and career adaptability explain why women who have navigated complexity become exceptional leaders of humans, not just processes.

This is the science that gives language to what you already know.

• The weekly pause
•  Take five minutes. Proper five minutes.
• Where in your path have you mistaken range, breaks or detours for a lack of direction?
• What changes when you see those chapters as evidence of depth, resilience and brilliance?

This episode sits with women who are questioning their path and quietly reassessing what comes next. It reframes years of self doubt and hands you back ownership of your story.

Pass it on to a woman who keeps apologising for her CV when she simply needs to own her brilliance. 

And if you’re in your plot twist era and want to be in a room where lived experience counts, where you don’t have to translate yourself and where backing yourself becomes the work, you’ll find your people through FoundHer Fire.

This is It’s Got Pockets.
Stories for women with experience who are not done yet.

Now crack on.

Sponsor
This episode is brought to you by Birkdale Insurance Group, a people-first business that cares about who gets a seat at the table and making sure everyone is included.

Sarah is the founder of FoundHer Fire—a membership space for experienced women in business who know real success isn’t just about strategy, it’s about self; a place, a space, a community where women find their fire, for women who aren't done yet and who are ready to write their own rules of success. Sarah also co-founded The Plot Twist (un)Awards, celebrating female founders and women smashing through glass ceilings with purpose, passion and joy.

Find out more about me and how I can work with you:

• On LinkedIn
• On Instagram
• On the Web
• Or drop me an email [email protected]

If you’ve ever sat on the edge of your bed thinking, is this it, or felt that weird itch under your skin that whispers you’re ready for something else, something more, then this episode will feel like someone finally turned the big light on.

Today I’m joined by the brilliant Jillian Reilly, author of Ten Permissions, social change expert, former good girl, lifelong explorer, and the woman who has basically written the handbook on what it takes for us, especially women with experience, to shift from waiting for approval to giving ourselves the green light.

Why we wait.
Why we shrink.
Why we chase gold stars.
Why we tie ourselves in knots trying to look good rather than feel good.

And more importantly, how we unpick all of it.

Jillian talks about the stories we’re imprinted with, the ones we never wrote, the rules we never agreed to, and the unconscious bias baked into every choice we think we’re making freely.

She explains why purpose is not a single North Star, why winging it might be the most grown woman thing you can do, and why micro-permissions may be the secret ingredient we’ve all missed.

We talk about the girls who get all the A’s and still walk into the world feeling unprepared. We talk about why “finding yourself” is about changing your environment, doing the tiny experiments, and noticing what sparks.

This episode is a permission slip disguised as a conversation.
A pocket of truth for every woman in her plot twist era.
A reminder that you and only you get to decide how you live, lead, love, explore, step forward, slow down, stretch, or start again.

And then, the Six-Word Memoir. The moment I always wait for.
Jillian lands it beautifully:

"She gave herself permission to explore."

Imagine if you did the same today. Imagine what would open. Imagine how you would feel.

In this episode you'll hear:
• The baked-in stories that keep women playing safe
• From seeking permission to self-permission
• The danger of chasing approval instead of authority
• Why purpose evolves with every chapter of your life
• How small acts of exploration rewire confidence
• Why feeling good should guide your goals
• The rituals women need to interrupt the old narratives
• Why we must move from consuming to creating
• How curiosity and courage unlock the next version of you

If you’re a woman with experience, running a business or leading a team while holding up everyone else’s sky, and you’re ready to back yourself, find your fire and crack on with your next chapter, come into the world of FoundHer Fire. The details are always in the show notes. The kettle is always on.

And you can buy Jillian's book from all major booksellers - it's called Ten Permissions.

Tuck this one in your pocket.
You’re not done yet.

Huge thank you to Birkdale Insurance Group for sponsoring this episode. Birkdale is a people first business with a powerhouse of talented

Sarah is the founder of FoundHer Fire—a membership space for experienced women in business who know real success isn’t just about strategy, it’s about self; a place, a space, a community where women find their fire, for women who aren't done yet and who are ready to write their own rules of success. Sarah also co-founded The Plot Twist (un)Awards, celebrating female founders and women smashing through glass ceilings with purpose, passion and joy.

Find out more about me and how I can work with you:

• On LinkedIn
• On Instagram
• On the Web
• Or drop me an email [email protected]

Season 2. Let's crack on.

In this first episode of the new season of It’s Got Pockets, we are not talking about louder goals or bigger hustle. We are talking about the quiet revolution happening inside ambitious women with experience. The women in business, the founders, the leaders, the ones who have held the sky up for everyone else and are suddenly realising they crave peace just as much as they crave progress.

If you are a woman in business who is exhausted by performing, still ambitious but bone tired of proving yourself over and over, this is for you.

Inside this episode we get into:

• Why so many high performing, experienced women are craving quiet, not because they are shrinking, but because they are done with the noise of constant comparison and performance
 • The difference between chaos adventure and peaceful adventure and why I am choosing jimmies by 9 and a walk up Snowdon over pretending roller coasters are fun
 • The moment on my driveway, in the dark, in the rain after a full day of workshops that snapped something into place about what real peace feels like
 • How stillness is not laziness or opting out. It is data. It is your nervous system finally closing a few tabs so you can hear what you really want next
 • Why presence for women in leadership is not about being the loudest person in the room. It is about being anchored in your own worth and lived in wisdom

We talk about quiet power as something precise, not passive. Presence as something grounded, not shouty. The kind of Inner Edge that means people naturally lean in when you speak, without you needing to set yourself on fire for impact.

Your pocket question this week:

Where in your life do you need to turn the noise down, not to disappear, but to hear yourself again?

Take it into your journal, into your commute, into that stolen two minutes in the car on the drive when the rain is hammering on the windscreen and you finally breathe. Quiet is not the absence of fire. It is often the moment it burns the brightest.

If you listen and it lands, and you instantly think of another woman who is running a business, leading a team or holding up everyone’s sky but her own, send this episode to her. Let her know she is not the only one craving a different kind of success.

If you want more of this kind of conversation off the podcast and in your actual life, FoundHer Fire is my private scaffolding system for women with experience who are ready for a next chapter that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside. You will find the link in the show notes.

My blinking brilliant sponsor for this episode...

This episode is brought to you by Birkdale Insurance Group, a brilliant people-first business that actually walks the talk on who gets a seat at the table. With a powerhouse of talented women on the board, they are bucking the male dominated financial services trend.

Find out more at birkdaleinsurancegroup.co.uk.

Sarah is the founder of FoundHer Fire—a membership space for experienced women in business who know real success isn’t just about strategy, it’s about self; a place, a space, a community where women find their fire, for women who aren't done yet and who are ready to write their own rules of success. Sarah also co-founded The Plot Twist (un)Awards, celebrating female founders and women smashing through glass ceilings with purpose, passion and joy.

Find out more about me and how I can work with you:

• On LinkedIn
• On Instagram
• On the Web
• Or drop me an email [email protected]

“Male violence against women and girls is a men’s issue that manifests as a women’s problem.”

For the finale, I’ve only gone and let a man on. 

Very Important note: this isn’t me letting a man have the last word - it’s me calling all of us in. Because change needs everyone in the room if we’re going to do better.

I sit down with Andrew Bernard (aka Bernie) - speaker, educator, and disruptor of outdated masculinity — for a brilliant, bold, unfiltered conversation about what it means to be a man today, how the Manosphere is shaping boys, and why equality is a shared win, not a zero-sum game.

We cover:

• How dominance culture starts in the playground — and how to unlearn it
• Raising emotionally literate boys (and checking our own biases)
• Feminism, weaponised language, and allyship that actually helps
• Algorithms, Andrew Tate & co., and what kids are really seeing online
• Three simple ways to have better conversations: be present, walk & talk, listen properly

Bernie’s six-word memoir says it all: “I know men can be better.”

🧠 Season One Wrap-Up

And that’s a wrap on Season One of It’s Got Pockets - 33 episodes, countless truth bombs, conversations that have made me cry, made me think and reminded me what happens when you finally stop asking for permission and start reclaiming your fire on your own damn terms.

If you've loved listening, I would be very very very grateful if you could leave me a little review on your platform of choice. Not only is it brilliant for my ego but it also helps my little podcast get shared. 

I'll be back soon with Season Two - more voices, more grit, more pocket-sized revolutions – packed with powerful conversations, lightbulb moments, and the kind of honesty usually reserved for bathroom chats and kitchen corners.

Big love,

Sarah x

Sarah is the founder of FoundHer Fire—a membership space for experienced women in business who know real success isn’t just about strategy, it’s about self; a place, a space, a community where women find their fire, for women who aren't done yet and who are ready to write their own rules of success. Sarah also co-founded The Plot Twist (un)Awards, celebrating female founders and women smashing through glass ceilings with purpose, passion and joy.

Find out more about me and how I can work with you:

• On LinkedIn
• On Instagram
• On the Web
• Or drop me an email [email protected]

This one’s for the fixers, the do-it-all queens, the women holding up the sky. Time management? Crock of Shit. 

Totally useless when your brain is running a marathon in stilettos and everyone’s “can you just…” is knocking on your door every 11 minutes. 

Today we get real about energy management - the only metric that matters when you’re scaling a business, leading a team, and navigating the glorious chaos of the midlife sequel season.

I share the simple, science-backed shifts that stop you hurtling towards burnout and start you placing energy where it actually creates impact without sacrificing yourself on the altar of performing your worth.

In this episode, I talk about

• Why time management is a crock of shit (we all get 24 hours; energy is the variable you can build, protect, and place).
• Energy leaks you don’t see: perfectionist re-do loops, “always on” emergency responder mode, and the people-pleasing that quietly drains you.
• The brain cost you’re paying: when you work against your natural thinking preferences, your brain can burn up to double the fuel.
• Decision fatigue is real: why you can front a board meeting at 9am and melt in front of the fridge at 8pm.
• The 1% rule: add tiny daily boosts that lift your system without needing a spa day or a personality transplant.

Try this today

1. Ask one better question: not “How do I fit more in?” but “What’s worth my energy today?”
2. Place it with intent: if you’ve only got 40% in the tank, give 100% of that 40% to the thing that matters most.
3. Patch the leaks: spot your fixer type (Perfectionist / Emergency Responder / Always-Available) and close one leak this week.
4. Build recovery in advance: schedule your warm-down and recovery like it’s a client.

Fact is....

• “You don’t need another productivity hack. You need an energy plan.”
• “We’re not short on resilience - we’re short on intentional energy allocation.”
• “Your sequel season isn’t about carrying more. It’s about carrying yourself.”
• “Stop managing time you don’t have. Manage energy you can build.”

Resources & next steps

• The Fixer’s Energy Audit : want the workbook I mentioned? Drop me a note and I’ll send the link.
• FoundHer Fire™: the coaching & scaffolding system for experienced women who are done shrinking to fit and ready to lead from their Inner Edge.
• Loved this? Leave a quick review and tell me where you listen (shout-out to my runners — go on, pick up the pace).

Language note: we keep it real; expect the odd spicy word.

Sarah is the founder of FoundHer Fire—a membership space for experienced women in business who know real success isn’t just about strategy, it’s about self; a place, a space, a community where women find their fire, for women who aren't done yet and who are ready to write their own rules of success. Sarah also co-founded The Plot Twist (un)Awards, celebrating female founders and women smashing through glass ceilings with purpose, passion and joy.

Find out more about me and how I can work with you:

• On LinkedIn
• On Instagram
• On the Web
• Or drop me an email [email protected]

What happens when you walk away from the limelight, the marriage and the life that everyone else thought was perfect - and decide to start again?

In this episode of It’s Got Pockets, I sit down with Leanne Brown - Real Housewives of Cheshire star, holistic coach, speaker and woman on a mission of self-discovery.

Leanne shares the raw, unfiltered story of the last six years - years she describes as both the hardest and the most wonderful of her life. 

We talk about what it really takes to turn your world upside down, walk away from labels that no longer fit and rebuild on your own terms.

From reality TV drama to retreats in France, from marriage breakdowns to menopause, from boundaries to belief systems that some of you may find challenging - this conversation has it all. 

And here’s the thing: I don’t agree with everything Leanne says and you might not either. But that’s the power of curious conversations. They give us the chance to hear, to question and to think about our own lives in new ways.

We dig into:

• Why midlife is the ultimate “life audit” moment
• Fame, money, and what happens when it all falls away
• Boundaries, self-worth, and breaking cycles that don’t serve us
• Menopause, mental health, and finding tools that work for you
• The courage it takes to leave, let go, and rebuild - especially in the public eye

Leanne’s six-word memoir? “Fame tested, resilience rose, wonder reclaimed.”
It might just inspire you to write your own.

This episode is honest, sometimes controversial, often moving, and always human.

Sarah is the founder of FoundHer Fire—a membership space for experienced women in business who know real success isn’t just about strategy, it’s about self; a place, a space, a community where women find their fire, for women who aren't done yet and who are ready to write their own rules of success. Sarah also co-founded The Plot Twist (un)Awards, celebrating female founders and women smashing through glass ceilings with purpose, passion and joy.

Find out more about me and how I can work with you:

• On LinkedIn
• On Instagram
• On the Web
• Or drop me an email [email protected]

Life at this stage? It’s a paradox. 

It’s brilliant and brutal. It’s laughter that makes your eyes leak and pressure that makes your chest tight. It’s rich tea biscuits when you really want a caramel hobnob. 

It’s dropping kids at uni, holding parents through illness, running businesses, leading businesses, keeping homes together and still showing up with grit, humour and a grin that hides the whisper of “what the actual fck” under your breath.

Today's episode is how I'm feeling; it's raw and real. It's unfiltered because that what I promised this podcast would be.

I’m talking about the relentless load we carry - the caregiving, the never-ending shoulds, the hormonal rollercoaster, the separation anxiety of even the blinking dog, the anticipation of the grief that I know is coming and the pure, heart-bursting joy that still breaks through. 

Because all the things can be true at the same time.

It’s unrelenting. And still… we crack the on.

✨ In this episode, I share:

• The invisible emotional weight women carry and why it’s so often unseen.
• The duality of life right now: joy and ache, ease and unease, noise and solitude.
• Why women 40+ need scaffolding, not platitudes, if we’re going to thrive (not just survive).
• How adulting is less about “nailing it” and more about rewriting the bloody manual.

This one is for every woman holding the sky up while craving five quiet minutes with a brew. You are unstoppable, unbreakable, unrelenting. I see you, my friend - and we ride together.

Sarah is the founder of FoundHer Fire—a membership space for experienced women in business who know real success isn’t just about strategy, it’s about self; a place, a space, a community where women find their fire, for women who aren't done yet and who are ready to write their own rules of success. Sarah also co-founded The Plot Twist (un)Awards, celebrating female founders and women smashing through glass ceilings with purpose, passion and joy.

Find out more about me and how I can work with you:

• On LinkedIn
• On Instagram
• On the Web
• Or drop me an email [email protected]

From NHS burnout to llamas in bow ties… Celia Gaze’s story is one hell of a plot twist.

Celia didn’t set out to be a founder. She set out to survive stress. But what started as a piece of coursework about wellbeing turned into The Wellbeing Farm – a wedding and events venue in Bolton where the llamas wear bow ties (yes, really) and joy is stitched into the brand.

In this conversation we get into:

• How burnout sneaks up on us and why we need to notice the “small creaks” before the big crash.
• Why proving yourself is a never-ending treadmill and owning your worth is the real liberation.
• The power of tiny, quirky decisions (like bow ties on llamas) to transform a business.
• Celia’s “Book of Joy” – a running list of the little and big things that make her feel alive and why every woman needs one.
• Declaring your boundaries out loud – to yourself as much as anyone else – and the permission it creates.
• Why space, solitude, and saying no are not indulgences but essential checks and balances if you want to crack on without burning out.

Celia’s six-word memoir? “Burnout, bow ties on llamas, chose conscious.”
And that sums it up perfectly.

🔑 Key Takeaways

1. Burnout isn’t a badge of honour. Stress creeps in through the little things until suddenly you’re gripping the steering wheel wondering if it’s a heart attack. Catch it early.
2. Declare it. Boundaries only stick when you declare them – to your team, your family, but most importantly, to yourself.
3. Joy needs scheduling. Whether it’s buying flowers, walking in nature, or sitting with a brew – joy doesn’t just happen. Make it intentional.
4. The quirks are the differentiators. A bow tie on a llama turned The Wellbeing Farm from “just another venue” into something unforgettable. Your small, authentic quirks are your brand edge.
5. Legacy > busyness. Building the business is only half the story. What you’re remembered for goes beyond the spreadsheets.

Sarah is the founder of FoundHer Fire—a membership space for experienced women in business who know real success isn’t just about strategy, it’s about self; a place, a space, a community where women find their fire, for women who aren't done yet and who are ready to write their own rules of success. Sarah also co-founded The Plot Twist (un)Awards, celebrating female founders and women smashing through glass ceilings with purpose, passion and joy.

Find out more about me and how I can work with you:

• On LinkedIn
• On Instagram
• On the Web
• Or drop me an email [email protected]

Hello, hello you bloody lovely humans. Today I’m dismantling my long-term love affair with self-deprecation -  the jokes I used to make so nobody else could beat me to it and I’m showing you how I swapped being the punchline for backing my bloody brilliance. 

Why this matters (the science bit):

• Self-deprecation ≠ strategy: It can boost likeability but tanks perceived competence (the old competence–likeability bind).
• Self-perception theory: We believe what we hear ourselves say. Keep saying “I’m just winging it,” and guess what sticks.
• Neuroplasticity: Confidence is a trainable skill; every time you back yourself out loud, you wire that pathway in.
• Persistence effect: Speak up, hold the floor, try again — credibility rises with visible persistence.

What’s inside:

• The Millie Tant nickname and why I laughed instead of led.
• The night I told an L&D CEO I was the “queen of bullsh*t”… and what changed after my stomach fell through the floor.
• How I re-wrote my inner code so my outside world caught up.
• Five practical ways to back yourself today (no vision boards required).

Five practical plays to try this week:

1. Swap your opener. Retire the “just…” and the joke. Write a grown-up intro you can actually say out loud.
2. Evidence folder. Screenshots, testimonials, wins. Title it ALLOW and read it when you wobble.
3. Thought flip. When “Who do you think you are?” pops up, answer: “Someone who’s bloody earned this.” Add three receipts.
4. Best-mate test. If you wouldn’t let anyone speak to your best mate like that, you’re not allowed to speak to you like that.
5. Borrow belief. Until your brain catches up, stand under someone else’s scaffolding (coach, mate, Collective).

Sticky soundbites:

• Brilliance doesn’t need a punchline. It needs backing.
• Likeable is lovely. Credible pays the bills.
• Confidence requires evidence — start saving yours.
• Stop auditioning for rooms that were never built for you.

Listener challenge:
What’s one phrase you’re retiring this week and one bold sentence you’re using instead? Tell me on LinkedIn or Insta so we can cheer you on (and keep you honest).

Six-word memoir for this episode:
No more shrinking. Back Your Brilliance.

Sarah is the founder of FoundHer Fire—a membership space for experienced women in business who know real success isn’t just about strategy, it’s about self; a place, a space, a community where women find their fire, for women who aren't done yet and who are ready to write their own rules of success. Sarah also co-founded The Plot Twist (un)Awards, celebrating female founders and women smashing through glass ceilings with purpose, passion and joy.

Find out more about me and how I can work with you:

• On LinkedIn
• On Instagram
• On the Web
• Or drop me an email [email protected]