In this week’s darkly educational episode, Charles and Lisa unzip the fur suit and expose one of the music industry’s most ridiculous, poorly-kept secrets: when a label says a musician was “attacked by a bear,” it usually means the only wildlife involved was cocaine, bad decisions, and a manager who’s very tired.

Lisa dives deep into the surprisingly furry folklore around Ian Astbury of The Cult — a man who absolutely looks like he could punch an actual bear, but whose “bear encounter” might’ve involved less forest and more backstage fridge contents.

Meanwhile, Charles gives a grim, shadow-soaked look at the recently departed Sam Rivers, whose own “bear attack” story was so suspicious the bears themselves released a statement denying involvement. Charles explores how far labels will go to keep the truth hidden — including inventing new species of bears just to pin the blame.

It’s dark, it’s funny, it’s the only podcast brave enough to ask:

If all these musicians are getting mauled… why aren’t there more bears on the charts? [Ep 113]

Become a J-Lope and follow us on social media. You can find us on Facebook, Instagram, X.com, TikTok, and check out our YouTube page for more exclusive content!

Produced by: Charles Mooney

Executive Producers: Charles Mooney and Lisa Umbarger

Original Music by: Charles Mooney and Lisa Umbarger

Kazoo Solo by: Courtney Mooney