When we've experienced tragedy, how do we heal and maintain a positive outlook?
 
This week, we're speaking to Jacy, a teacher-turned-homeschooling mom of four living children and a daughter in Heaven.  After four very different hospital births (including a stillbirth), Jacy unexpectedly became a homebirth convert.  Her fifth baby was born healthy at home in August, which was an incredibly healing experience for her.
 
As you can tell, this birth story is going to cover some extremely sensitive content. Jacy hopes to provide encouragement to bereaved mothers, as the Lord placed several women in her life that had been open about their experiences with loss before she had her own. This was extremely helpful to her, and her desire is to help others with her story of both heartaching pain and at other points, heart-bursting joy.
 
 
Episode Roundup: 
 
I'm so grateful for Jacy's willingness to come on and share such a vulnerable piece of her life and her heart with us. As we head into today's episode roundup, I wanted to simply focus on this one aspect: When we come across those who are grieving, for whatever reason, but especially those who have lost a child at any stage- I think that far beyond our words, we can love people with our actions. Bringing a meal, offering to watch the other little ones, providing house cleaning services. acknowledging the personhood of the little life who is no longer here, and acknowledging the physical trauma and need for recovery of the mother, too. We don't have to have the perfect words, but having a servant's heart is a treasure above all else. 
 

 

Related Books:Safe in the arms of God by John McArthurThe Moon is Always Round by Jonathan Gibson
 


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Ep 223: Jacy’s Grief of Stillbirth and the Redemption That Followed

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Once you've experienced a traumatic birth, the best you can hope for from that point on is just-- a birth without trauma, right? It's best to just play it safe- not to push the envelope....?
 
Regina has been married to her husband Miles for 11 years and mother to their 3 children. Currently the Lowenfields live in Southern Indiana where they are building an events venue on their 75 acres. Today we'll hear how Regina and Miles experienced trauma, tried to cope, and then went big with their most recent birth experience.
 
Before we jump in, I want to share an important update with you all. The release of this episode coincides exactly with the 5 year anniversary of this podcast. I am just so thrilled to look back over the last 5 years and to celebrate the 264 episodes that have been shared in that time.
 
I also want to let you know that I am now going to be going on hiatus with the podcast. I am so excited to focus my energy on a few projects that the Lord has been drawing me into over the last year, and most importantly to spend every waking moment soaking up the beauty of my three little ones. I'm not sure if anyone's told you, but holy moly time goes FAST and one day you wake up and your oldest is seven years old and you wonder what the heck happened.
 
So in the meantime, know this: I am still honored to provide you with the deepest homebirth childbirth education through The Homebirth Collective or Happy Homebirth Academy, both of which are self-paced and accessible in the show notes, at myhappyhomebirth.com, or through my instagram bio.
 
I'm not going to be checking in on instagram or facebook often, so if you need anything, the best way to reach me is at hello@myhappyhomebirth.com.
 
 
If this podcast has meant something to you, would you take a moment now to leave a review? It would mean so much to me.
 
 
Episode Roundup:
 
 
 
If you've experienced a traumatic birth in the past, don't feel that you have to settle for 'not traumatic'. The opposite of a traumatic birth is not merely 'not traumatic', but it's ecstatic, and that's something that you can prepare for, pray for, and quit often attain.
 
Alright, my friends. What an honor this has been. I look forward to coming back in the future with more beautiful stories, but in the meantime, I am praying for all of you. That you'll enjoy your pregnancies, your births, your babies, your children. That you'll feel the love of the Lord covering you like a blanket, realizing that it's somehow even deeper and stronger than that insane love we feel for our babies. I'll see you back here next time.

Ep 264:The Opposite Of A Traumatic Birth with Regina Lowenfield

You can't have a homebirth after 3 c sections, pre-eclampsia and being a "geriatric pregnancy", can you?
 
This week, we're speaking with Jan DeAngelo, 43 year old mother of 4 babies who changed EVERYTHING in between her third and fourth births. We'll hear how she took control of her care and her family's wellbeing, and gave birth with confidence to her most recent little one.
 
Episode Roundup
You're not high risk until you're high risk- Jan's midwife said this, and I find it such a beautiful way to approach each pregnancy individually. She wasn't focusing on the past, but looking at Jan and her pregnancy NOW. Instead of forcing fear and uncertainty onto her client, she trusted her abilities as a care provider, yes, but more importantly-- she trusted Jan's ability to give birth.
Your mindset plays such a role in your birth. As we shared, in the past, Jan's doctors pathologized her pregnancy and birth up and down, and Jan accepted what they had to say. Because of this, she saw herself as high risk- as a disaster waiting to happen. This totally changed for her fourth birth, when she realized that she was designed to give birth. She changed her mindset and recognized that her body and her baby were not pathologies. She was able to approach this pregnancy and birth with excited anticipation, along with the knowledge that she could and would do things differently.
Let's end with this-- it can be different this time. Maybe you've had a cesarean or several, maybe you've had preeclampsia or gestational diabetes or any number of "pathologies" in the past. Remember that this experience doesn't have to be the same as last time. Give yourself space to imagine something different. Visualize it, feel it. Find support who feels it, too. Of course, consider your own risk tolerance, but know that however events do unfold, you can experience your birth from a perspective of being the authority.

Ep 263: VBA3C?! You’re Not High Risk Until You’re High Risk with Jan DeAngelo

Which is more important in birth preparation and birth itself? The body--or the mind?
This week we're speaking with Errika Horner, a stay-at-home mom of 2 girls and blogger in her spare time, sharing healthy recipes and intentional homemaking inspiration on her website: thehomeintent.com.
 
Episode Roundup
As Errika's story demonstrated, it is possible to have a positive birth experience in the hospital, if that’s the option you feel you need this time around, keep this at front of mind, as it can be extremely encouraging to hear those positive examples.
Errika acknowledges that yes, her body was made for birthing, but it was her mind that made the difference between her two experiences. Errika had a much better understanding of what her body was doing in labor, and she visualized it all, even talking to her body during contractions. Errika feels that's what really made the second experience smoother and quicker.
And finally, you don't have to learn every single possible coping technique. In fact, having just a few specific strategies planned to use during the birth can help, so that you know exactly how to prepare and focus.

Ep 262: The Body-Mind-Birth Connection with Errika Horner

When you imagine a beautiful homebirth, what comes to mind? Everything unfolds perfectly, or nearly perfectly, right?
 
This week, we're speaking with Coco Brown. Coco is a mother, currently navigating the labyrinth that is postpartum using ancestral knowledge and intuition to guide her. She is a maternal health and nourishment advocate sharing her intimate journey through home birth, postpartum, intuitive motherhood and well being through her online presence in hopes to deeply connect women and mothers around the world.
 
Our story with Coco will challenge the idea that beauty is equivalent to a perfectly smooth birthing experience. As the title suggests, there will be discussion of a shoulder dystocia, so of course please consider this as you listen. However, I do want to share that Coco is a wonderful storyteller and she shares her experience both gently and realistically... and spoiler alert, but all went well in the end.
 
 
Episode Roundup:
 
 
Imagination. Many of you know that I view the world through a biblical lens, and something that's been on my mind for the last few months, and that relates in such a special way to this episode, is the idea of the imagination. Just like Coco shared how she took time to deeply envision her birth experience, and so much of it happened in the way that she'd put thought to. Lately, I've been reflecting on how The Lord uses our imagination for our good and His glory. We were given this ability to imagine-- to see things in our mind-- and it is such a gift. We're called to renew our minds and spirits and to think on whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—using our imagination to renew the mind and think on these things in our day to day life is the stuff of miracles. Use your imagination! Think on your pure, excellent, praiseworthy birth, mama.
Next, I want to focus on how, between her first pregnancy and birth and her most recent, Coco learned to lean into her intuition and to truly listen to it. This is what led her to choose to give birth in her own home, and to choose a midwife who truly embodied what that word is supposed to mean-- someone who trusts, believes in physiological birth, and who is there to wisely step in when the time is right. As Coco told this part of the birth story, I pictured these three women, with Coco as the spearhead, along with her two midwives flanking either side. Supporting her, keeping her safe, but always recognizing Coco's lead. That's what this relationship is all about.
And finally, a word on integration. Coco's journey from first pregnancy through her most recent birth has been full of ups and downs. Triumph and troubles. And labor is a microcosm of this very experience. I loved her labor depiction. "I am an ocean." Oceans are many things. Mighty, flowing, majestic, serene, cataclysmic, and tranquil. What a wonderful analogy for the process of integration. Taking all of the aspects of her journey thus far-- breaking them down and then building them back up together. Letting it all wash over her in waves. And like waves, the integration of an experience ebbs and flows. It's not all at once. But this ability to take our experience and pull it into our being-- absorbing the meaning and allowing it to transform us-- that is an abundant gift to ourselves and our families alike.

Ep 261: A Beautiful Shoulder Dystocia? With Coco Brown

When you've had a hospital birth but your epidural failed, why not bring it on home for baby #2?
 
This week we're speaking to Brianna, who did just that-- decided to head home after the frustrating experience of a failed epidural. We'll hear how she was able to tap into her intuition and her primal instincts to make her homebirth a wonderful success.
 
Episode Roundup:
 
Brianna experienced the intensity of labor with her first birth, as her epidural migrated and failed. Because she had expected to HAVE the epidural to cope, she struggled through her active labor and transition. However, what I find amazing is that when she gave birth at home, pain was a non-issue. Simply having coping skills available to her and knowing how to let her body do the work allowed her to experience a FUN, joyful birthing experience.
I also loved the way that Brianna invited her daughter, Ella in to her birth experience with her second baby. Ella was able to come in and see her mother give birth to her new baby sister. Brianna mentioned that she hopes her daughter will remember this experience, and I agree. I want to encourage those of you who have young children at your births to remember to tell them the story! Turn it into family lore! My daughter tells me little details about the time that she watched me give birth to her baby sister. "Remember when I tried to get in the pool," she'll say. Now, whether or not she actually fully remembers the event itself or the retelling and retelling of it-- does it really matter? In her mind, it's solidified as a beautiful, joyous strong experience. We have the ability to use storytelling to help our children understand the beauty of birth, whether they fully remember or not. Honestly, whether they're even present or not!
 


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Ep 223: Jacy’s Grief of Stillbirth and the Redemption That Followed

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