(Sweet‑heat, glossy, tangy, and proudly white‑stuff‑free)

Welcome back to “I Hate White Stuff,” the only cooking podcast where mayonnaise, sour cream, ranch, and every other pale, gloopy ingredient get kicked out of the kitchen like they tried to lasso your jalapeños with sadness. Today’s recipe is a sticky, spicy, sweet‑meets‑fiery masterpiece: Jalapeño Pineapple Cowboy Candy — a condiment so bold it should come with a sheriff’s badge.