Are there things in your past that you would rather forget? Do you regret things you did, or opportunities that you missed?

Do you sometimes think how different your future will be if only you could change your past? Now there is a scary thought - why would you want to change your past?

Think of your life as a series of events. Each event has a purpose, otherwise it would not happen.

Now think of all those events that you would rather forget or wipe out. What was the purpose of each one of those events? How did each one of them contribute to making you the person you are today? And what kind of person would you have been had it not been for those events?

For example, you had the opportunity to study and get a qualification. At the time, you did not want to take on the financial obligations, and you could not imagine yourself being disciplined enough to study for three years. Instead, when your parents finally kicked you out of the nest, you took the first job that came your way. You earned enough to survive and have a good time with your friends.

Then one morning you woke up and realized what you had done by turning down the opportunity to study.

What is next? Too often you get caught in a spiral of self-blame and self-pity. You focus on the missed opportunities and you tell the younger generation not to do what you have done.

Do you step back and identify and appreciate everything you have done in the meantime? Do you think of the people who look up at you as their natural leader? Do you list the skills you have gained along the way? Do you look at yourself as a unique person with character traits that are not taught as part of any formal qualification, such as empathy, using your discernment to decide who should be given a hand up and who should be left to learn from their "mistakes", how to manage your finances, and so on? The list of what you have learned because of the route you took is often far longer than the list of things you believe you have lost.

So here is the choice: remain stuck in the past and continue to regret and resent the path you have taken, or make a list of everything you have gained and learned, that made you the person you are today. Who you are right now is a result of your past, and also your foundation for the future, regardless of how you choose to deal with your past.

The foundation is there. You can use half of it and build a future full of self-blame and self-pity, or you can use the entire foundation and build a future based on appreciation and gratitude for who you have become.

You will make the choice that is right for you.

 

Which past experience do you still need to recognize as a source of wisdom?  Do you resent your past because you have not yet found the lesson in the experience?