Her Mentula Cōleī Baptism

A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.

 Christmas was fast approaching, and festive events were in full swing at St. Michael's Church.

"Well not long to go until Jesus' birthday," Reverend Morris smiled as he and Jenna finished putting up their Christmas decorations. "Just two weeks. Which reminds me, there's another very special person's birthday a week before the festive season, "

"Oh yes. I'd forgotten!" Jenna replied.

"Jenna my love, it's your 21st! You can't forget something like that. I want it to be a truly memorable birthday for you. Is there anything in particular you'd really, really like? Please give it some thought. Turning 21 is a milestone."

"I will Simon. But I pretty much have everything I've ever wanted already," she smiled, slipping her arms round him.

Later, Jenna was engrossed in reading something on her smartphone.

"Imagine that," she whispered to herself.

Noticing her excitement, Reverend Morris became curious.

"What's grabbed your attention, Jen?"

" Mentula Cōleī Baptism," she blurted out, without thinking.

Her husband looked confused. "Pardon?"

"Oh! It's nothing. Just an old fertility rite of the Eastern Orthodox, in some Asian nations! The Japanese call it bukkake. The loose translation of ‘Mentula Cōleī’  is ‘cock & balls’. And it follows the Anglican tradition of sprinkling. Er, would you like a cup of tea?”

"Sure."

Later, when Jenna was having a shower, Reverend Morris picked up his phone. "Bukkake, she said. How does one spell that, then?" He typed into the browser. Boocaka? Bookaki? Bukacay? On the third attempt, the browser's autocorrect suggested the correct term.

"Oh, so that's how it's spelt. He clicked on a Wikipedia link. "Good God!" He spluttered, as he read all about the act. When he'd finished, he chuckled to himself. "You learn something new every day. The Internet never disappoints, "

At the Wednesday Eucharist, Gordon had just finished the recessional hymn. The midweek service always had a lower turnout than the Sunday service, but numbers had been steadily increasing all year.

"Morning Gordon," Reverend Morris said, appearing at the side of the organ.

"Oh hello vicar," the organist replied. "Quite full today. I don't know, the news says that Christianity is declining in this country but this church seems to be the exception."

"It does, and that pleases me greatly. I can't speak for all churches in England, but knowing that our community here at St. Michael's is thriving, well it lifts my heart. I tend not to pay much attention to the news these days. Too depressing. Difficult times for so many. Strikes, cost of living and all that. Oh and England getting knocked out of the World Cup."

"Mmm, yes," Gordon nodded. "Couldn't care less about football. I never watch it. Horse racing is my thing. How's Jenna and Christopher?"

"Oh they're both fine, actually I need to discuss something important with you, Gordon. Jenna's 21st birthday is next week. I was wondering if you could help me with something?"

"Certainly, vicar!" He replied, switching off the light above the organ's keyboards. "Happy to help in any way I can."

"Okay, but not here. Come to my study right now, please."

"Right you are," Gordon said. He didn't even have time to remove his robe and hang it up in the vestry. He was intrigued. The way the vicar was summoning him to the study sounded a bit ominous. He felt like a kid at school being summoned to the headmaster in order to receive a punishment. He meekly followed the vicar down the aisle.

"Close the door if you please," Reverend Morris said, as he beckoned the organist into the study. Gordon did as he asked, and was surprised to find Josh the curate, Father Aiden, Bishop George and Norman Winstanley the new churchwarden all waiting.

"Eh, what's all this, vicar?" Gordon exclaimed. "A lads-only party?"

"Gentlemen," Reverend Morris began. "I've invited you here because you are trusted spiritual mentors; and trusted friends of mine. As servants of God, you all have your own important tasks to perform. Now what I am about to ask you, requires a great deal of trust. As good Christians, I wonder if you'll be able to fulfil this very unique anointing ceremony a parishioner has requested."

Father Aiden crossed himself. "I am always ready to do the Lord's work."