As the year comes to a close and you are gearing up for the new year and setting New Year resolutions, It is important that you work in letting go of the things you did or didn’t do in the past and forgive those who wrong you and forgive yourself for letting yourself at times. In this week’s podcast, I am discussing the importance for forgiveness and letting go.
You don’t want to go into the New Year with baggage from the past. Carrying the weight of holding on to a grudge, being angry, upset or bitter from things that happened in the past will do you more harm than good. Holding onto the Should’ves, Would’ves, and Could’ves , and What If’s of life will literally drive you crazy and stunt your growth. Thinking of everything you could’ve done. As you replay in your mind every detail you could’ve changed, every word you should’ve said, every action you may have done if you would’ve known “xyz.” Just let it go and free yourself of that burden. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but it is important to remember that as you press forward with your new goals.
How do you work on forgiving yourself and others?
• First you have to acknowledge the pain of the situation. Some of us are so in denial of things and suppress situation that we don’t want to even deal with forgiveness because the situation is too raw and painful to deal with.
• Own your emotions. Rather the situation made you angry, upset, made or hurt. You need to acknowledge those emotions in order to be able to properly deal with them,
• Release the expectations you have of righting the wrong that was done to you. It happened, nothing you can do will change what took place, and all you can do is release yourself for holding onto the getting justice….. I heard one of n “The Oprah Winfrey speak on forgiveness. She stated that, Forgiveness is letting go so that the past does not hold you prisoner.” She noted that, Forgiveness is giving up hope that the past could have been any different.
• Be mindful of your boundaries so that the situation does not occur again. You cannot control what a person will do to you but you can control your thoughts and action so whether it’s with a significant other, family or yourself. You have to let it be known that I will never allow myself to be put in this situation again because I love myself too much.
• Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. Is just simply freeing yourself from being bound by the thought of what happened.
• Show kindness and compassion. We are not perfect, give yourself a break for making a mistake and give others a break as well. Yes some people intentionally do things to you, but half of the time, they don’t know any better. They have not learned how to deal with their feelings so they lash out and hurt others because they are hurt. We all are unpacking or own things from the past and learning how to deal with life so have more compassion and patient with people.
These tools will help you release the hurt and move forward into the new year being a new and better version of yourself by not letting what happened to you define you but build you into your greatness, knowing that everything that has happened to you, the good bad and ugly has shaped and molded you into the person that you are today.
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