After our son Johnny passed away from cancer, I was asked to attend a youth summit conference in his place that he had hoped to go to. It was led by our oldest son who was our youth pastor at the time.

I was delighted to be able to go and hang out with all of John’s friends and be a youth sponsor for the event. It was fun and exciting!

We were exhausted from our trip - it took much longer than anticipated and none of our luggage made it to the carousel. It was delayed, but should catch up with us in the next 24 - 48 hours. We cleaned up the best we could wearing our travel clothes and looking a bit worse for wear and went to the first session.

The speaker was already talking out of John 21 when we settled in our seats. It was difficult to stay alert because we were so tired from traveling. But my ears perked up when I heard the speaker ask, “Do you love me?” from the text in John 21. “Peter do you love me?”

It was at that moment, I heard the Lord’s voice. “Peggy, do you love me?”

I looked around, and answered quietly, “Yes, Lord, I love you! With all of my heart! I’m serving You, and here I am at this conference and . . . I’ve given you my all . . . even the life of our son!”

I heard the whisper of the Holy Spirit, “Peggy, do you still love me?”

I immediately thought of our 3 other sons and I saw myself clinging to them – “I love you Lord but you can’t have these boys!”

I realized God was asking me to let go – let all our sons go into His loving care. To trust Him for their well-being. I cried and let God have my grief, and my disappointment that Johnny wasn’t healed. We had dedicated all of our boys to the Lord when they were young, but I realized it was time to release my grip and give them back to the Lord once again. Saying to Him, “Yes, Lord. Not my will, but Your will be done for each one of our sons.”

What about you? Do you love Him? Do you still love Him after what you’ve gone through? Whether it’s loss of job, a family fracture, divorce, or death, whatever it is . . . it’s time to let go, and trust God again.

John 21:15-17

“When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”