The long account (Genesis 37–45) of Yosef’s1 reconciliation with his brothers via “a great deliverance” is an emotional roller coaster, showing how relationships can get derailed then put back on track — if those involved actively intervene. On a bigger canvas of Yosef’s journey from scorned and favored to slave to vizier to savior, Heaven is trying to put the relationship with mankind back together, and it has called for patient and at times extreme intervention.

Key to mended relationships is:

* Truth: There is a right way and a wrong way.* Justice: There have been wrongs in this situation.* Repentance: Those wrongs won’t happen again.* Forgiveness: There won’t be recalling of the wrongs.

The Torah passage Vayigash (“he approached,” Genesis 44:18–47:27) not only gives us insight into how to function in interpersonal relationships within our families but also within the nation where we live. There is a right way and a wrong way to restore relationships effected by a serious wrongdoing. You have to acknowledge a loss has occurred and what part you played in it, repent of your part of it and then let it go.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.”Psalm 139:23–24 NASB

Being impartial is an active task, not a passive trait. We have to be self-aware to recognize our biases then actively take hold of positions we favor so we can honestly hear both sides and give them a fair hearing. In so doing, we follow the example of Heaven as an unbiased judge of us, actively not holding our former way of life and past deeds against us.

Ya’akov2 favored Yosef, the oldest son of the wife he loved, and the brothers coveted Yosef’s position. The traumas that Yosef suffered began with Ya’akov’s favoritism of him over his brothers. Yosef and Binyamin3 were the sons of his favorite wife, who had died in the prime of her life, even though he had many more children with Rachel’s sister, Leah. And even more, Heaven seemed to be confirming through Yosef’s dreams that he was the favored son and leader of Israel.

“He kissed all his brothers and wept on them, and afterward his brothers talked with him.”Genesis 45:15 NASB

What a change from when the brothers last knew they had seen Yosef, when they had thrown him in a pit, stolen the coat his father gave him then left him as they ate, turning a deaf ear to Yosef’s pleas (Gen. 42:21).

Now, Yosef was in the power position over his brothers, as they were over him from the top of the cistern, but Yosef refrains from revenge. Why? Among the possible reasons why he didn’t:

He selflessly served Heaven’s plan. Yosef came to understand that the LORD was with him and that what happened to him was לִפְלֵיטָה גְּדֹלָה lif’leyitah g’dolah “to a great deliverance” (Gen. 45:4–9).

Yosef was wise enough to see HaShem’s hand in all that had happened to him for the salvation of his family. Yosef was a tool in HaShem’s hand for a great deliverance.

“The LORD was with him” at Potiphar’s house. Yosef chose trustworthiness to his new master over bitterness for the raw deal his brothers gave him, and Potiphar’s house prospered as Yosef was rewarded with greater responsibility here.

Yosef had to learn that even his servitude to Potiphar as a slave was part of HaShem’s plan and he was trustworthy in that position. Even when Yosef was unjustly thrown into prison by Potiphar,